Reader x Danny Gonzales, Kurtis Conner, Drew Gooden

The Tale

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This chapter is told like a separate story. Story will continue as normal in next chapter.

Kurtis' day started like any other day, breaking into The Louvre, the most famous French museum. Which holds important things such as what Kurtis wanted to steal, the Mona Lisa.

Kurtis put on his favorite outfit: a skin tight black body suit. As he put on his ski mask he ran through what his plans were.

Get past the security, and grab the Mona Lisa. And then sell it to his landlord, George Costanza.

Kurtis was in debt to his landlord for tax fraud. George Costanza found out and threatened to bring him to the police but Kurtis avoided that by paying him 5 bucks. Sadly Kurtis didn't have any money to pay him back, and George's interest was 100%. (He was intent on not moving back in with his parents)

Kurtis puts on his gloves and applies a heavy layer of butter on his entire body. He had to be as smooth as butter, like a criminal undercover.

As Kurtis worms across the floor, none of the guards notice him. So he walks over to the Mona Lisa and steals it, he puts it in his pocket and walks out casually.

"Yo Georgie Poo, I got you the Mona Lisa." Kurtis texts George.

"Good bring it to me." George responds.

"Okay boss."

Once Kurtis got to George's house, he places the Mona Lisa on his "The Wiggles™️" table.

"YOU FOOL" George screams at Kurtis.

"What did I do wrong?!" Kurtis almost implodes.

"You got the REAL MONA LISA!!!"

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Kurtis says cowering in the corner.

"I WANTED A FAKE ONE!" George screams, he turns on the tv and sure enough, the tv says that the Mona Lisa is stolen.

"The police will never know it was me" Kurtis whimpers.

"It's not the police I'm worried about." George shivers with terror. "It's the King of France."

"Who?" Kurtis cries.

"The king of France. He's a- a- LIZARD WIZARD." George suddenly has a heart attack and dies.

"No NO NONONONO WHAT DO I DO I CANT DEAL WITH A WIZARD LIZARD." Kurtis says gagging. "What do I do, I need to run."

Kurtis starts running into the horizon but finally stops in North Carolina in the USA. "I should be safe here." Kurtis turns around and screams. It's him.

"B-Bo B-Burnham?" Kurtis almost faints.

"Yes it is I, BO BURNHAM KING OF FRANCE, LIZARD WIZARD."

"NONONONO"

"And to punish you. I'm turning you into a ghost on the 4th of July, which is in two days" Bo Burnham starts rapping.

Kurtis started to fall into a deep slumber. When we opened his eyes he was on a bed.

"Who are you?" Kurtis squints.

"My name is Danny Gonzales and I found you on the ground."

"You saved me?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"I'm forever in your debt." Kurtis cries

"I think we're even, you sleep fixed everything in my house."

"Oh cool, I'm going to go live in Canada and maybe stalk some people, I'm Kurtis btw."

"Nice to meet you, I'm going to go learn how to rap, bye" Danny bids Kurtis farewell.