Lavender & Lilies

Disclosure

Dimitri did go with the other soldiers to Merceus the next day. He dragged himself out of his bed begrudgingly, forgoing his morning training to assist in loading the wagon.

There was no sign of Lilliana this early, he noticed. A small part of him wilted in disappointment.

After their pseudo-understanding yesterday morning, neither of them had spoken. Every once in a while they had exchanged a smile or a nod, and while they seemed romantic at the time, they often ended up feeling... tense. And recently, Lilliana's efforts to treat him nicely were beginning to feel forced.

He glanced towards the upper rooms of the castle as he stepped into the wagon. He often wondered what had happened to that look in her eyes she used to have when she gave him a glance.

Dimitri didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing that she was losing interest. Hopefully, the torture could end with that.

"Webbs?" Lilliana called, hand cupped to her mouth. "Webbs!"

"What is it?" Webbs called back, coughing afterward.

Lilliana rushed towards the direction his voice came from. "Webbs, there you are! I've been meaning to speak with you."

"Is that so?" When she found him, he was polishing the blade of his lance contentedly.

With a pang of guilt, she was reminded of Dimitri. "Just for a little while, if that's okay with you. I passed the kids off to Barrett for the time being."

Webbs looked up at her and smiled. The summer sun had broadened the spidery wrinkles in his face. "And what is it you want to speak to me about?"

She glanced around and caught sight of a chair. She dragged it opposite him and sat down. "Just..." Lilliana paused before giving a short laugh. "Our favorite young royal, I suppose."

"Ah." The major looked down at his lance again. "Go ahead, then,"

"I've been giving some thought to what you told me before," she began. "I just felt like maybe you could help me understand some things, because it's all... very complicated, you know."

"Most things are, these days."

"Uh-huh. But I guess, I just don't really know how I actually feel about him."

"Oh?"

"He's kind of... you know, I had a fight with him two nights ago, and we understand each other more, I guess, but... but we don't. I don't understand why he does any of this."

Webbs pursed his lips. "I know what you mean."

"It's like, I gave him the reasons why what he's doing is stupid. And he's not listening to it, he's just being nicer to me. I can't be his friend when his outlook is still "I do whatever my dead family tells me to," you know?"

"It's more than—"

Lilliana rolled her eyes, cutting him off. "Oh, I know it's more than that, I was simplifying it, but... you told me I should stop thinking of him as someone I'm attracted to and more as a person who desperately needs someone to pull him out of isolation. And, I mean, it worked, but now I'm not attracted to him like, at all."

"That's... certainly a quick turn around," Webbs said, looking up to meet her eyes.

She snorted. "Yeah. But... I really only pity him now. And while I'm still physically attracted to him, I don't really want anything to do with him besides that, if you know what I mean. But then, at the same time, I also think I should be his friend. He really needs one and all, and even though it's obvious how he's attracted to me and likes me, I just feel like I can't be that person."