What If?

Chapter 2- What am i going to do?(part 2)

(Chrissa's p.o.v)

LIFE. SUCKS. ASS.

I screwed up everything, i mean why the hell did i kiss her? Oh, wait, thats right, I DON'T EVEN KNOW! Im currently laying in my bed, listening to depressing music. Oh joy. I eventually get bored and get up to ply my guitar. yes i have a guitar, it's electric and so damm smexy. God i sound like an idiot. I grab Jace (yes i named it jace, fuck off), plug him in to my amp,sit on my bed and play Creep by Raidohead.

"When you were here before

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fucking special"

"But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here"

"I don't care if it hurts

I wanna have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice

When I'm not around

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special"

"But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here"

"She's running out the door

She's running out

She run run run run...

Run..."

"Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here"

I play the final chords and flop back down on my bed (i ended up standing up while i was singing like a mad woman).

I hear a knock on my door. "come in", it's my mother. "Chrissa? you okay hun?" I sigh, times like these where the only times i spoke to my mom, she was always out 'working'. for all i fucking know she could be fucking some guy she just met. "yes mom im fine" She sits at the end of my bed, "I dont think your just fine, come on, tell me whats up. You don't play Creep on Jace when you fine". God damm mothering senses. I sigh, i need to get it all out at once, "sothereisthisnewgirlatschoolandimayormaynotlikeherandikissedherfornogoddammresonandsheranawayafteritandnowithinkshehatesmebecausewhehaventtalkedsincethen." Ilet out a puff of air, wow where di all that come from?" My mom nods, " okay lets set this staight, there is a knew girl at school? and you may or may not like her, but you kissed her?" I nod. "And she ran off after you kissed her?" i nod again."Chrissa, do you even know if she is gay like you are?" I sigh, "yes, well.. i dont know. i mean first she said yes, then after i kissed her she said no. She is just, ughhhhh." My mom strokes my hair back, "Chrissa do you remember when you where in the 8th grade, and you came out?" i nod "Do you remember how confused you where, and how you where afraid eveyone will judge you?" i nod again, how could i forget that year? "well," my mom continues,"mabey that girl is going through that stage, she doesn't quite understande her sexuality yet. Just give her some time okay?" i sit up and hug her,"thanks mom" she kisses my head "no problem". Thats the thing about my mom, she is so supportive of my choice to be gay.

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Hey my lovley children of the stars! Im so happy i wrote a long chapter this time!

Make sure to leave a comment, I NEED YOUR FEED BACK! 75 reads wow! lets get to 100!

~xxMaggie Smilesxx