DADDY ISSUES | JM

17: memories.

park jimin

I'm staring at the ceiling above and it's currently 2 in the morning. I couldn't even close one eye, ever since I got Y/n back home. She thankfully dosed off to sleep 2 hours ago, she's sleeping deeply.

I sigh and turn my head to the side, admiring her beautiful features through the dark. She looks so beautiful. She's the perfect mix of her mother and her father and so pretty. I've never seen someone as beautiful as Y/n.

I always wondered how she would look like if she grows up and I'm so mesmerized by her beauty.

She looks so innocent and pure. She deserves all the love in the world and I regret what I have said to her today.

I could never let a boy touch such innocence and ruin it. Or another man, it depends. I don't trust people and could never let anybody hurt Y/n. The only one who wouldn't intentionally hurt her is me. And I'm the only man, who wouldn't.

She's the perfect little girl I've always wanted. Pure, kind, and lovely. Cute, small, and fragile. Johnny gifted her to me and I'm more than grateful to him.

He gave me something so special. Y/n grew up in an abusive household and the cries I've heard from inside hurt me. It hurt me so much that I didn't do something to protect her and save her from the pain. I was scared she wouldn't trust me, but she did and she does.

And I'm actually proud and kinda disappointed at the same time. I could have been some old man who could have had bad intentions. I could have been a rapist. But I'm not, of course.

I saw the red and blue bruises all over Y/n's body as well as the scars when I first changed her into my clothes, the day she met me. I got kinda emotional. She was hurt badly. I'm going to take revenge for her on her mother. And I'm going to make her the happiest girl on earth, I don't care how much I have to do for it or pay for it.

I'd do anything to see her smile. And I dislike it so much when I see her cry. It always feels like someone stabbed me in my heart and I can't do anything to stop the pain.

I palm Y/n's cheek and caress it with my thumb before I place a small peck on her nose and quietly get out of bed since I can't sleep. I slip my feet inside my  FILA slippers, trying to not make a sound, and slowly open the door and turn my head to glance at the napping sight of Y/n.

I turn my attention back to what I was going to do and exit the bedroom and close it behind me. I switch on the lights in the long corridor and rub my eye as I try to adjust to the brightness. I sigh once again and walk through the long and quite thin hall and stop midway.

I turn my head to the right and look at the pictures hanging on the world and a small smile appears on my lips as I stare at the middle picture of Elaine and me, hugging at our wedding. She wears a big white gown and carries a bouquet of roses in her hands while I hug her from behind.

She was such a beautiful young woman and she didn't deserve all the pain she had to go through. She was such a kind and lovely woman, Y/n would have loved her and Sona. I take the edge of the white frame in my hand, thinking about whether I should take it off the wall and the others as well.

I sigh. I probably should.

I then take the three pictures off the wall and carry them through the hallway and finally reach the end of it. There's a small table in the corner with a lamp. The desk has a drawer as well and I pull it open using my free hand and the key I need immediately shows up.

I take it in my hand and shove it through the small hole under the doorknob, and open the door shoving out the key.

I enter the door and the smell of dust and old pictures directly flies inside my nose, nostalgia filling me up after I put the key inside the pocket of my sweatpants.

The room is filled with so many old things. It's like a basement, but fancy and not as disgusting. After Elaine and Sona died, I decided to change this room into something I can look at or touch whenever I feel depressed.

The room is much larger than my bedroom and there's a window right in front of the door, and the white curtains block the view from the outside. There's a rack of clothes right beside the windowsill and I approach it after placing the pictures in the huge drawer next to the door.

I sigh and touch the flamingo-pink-colored gown and lift the skirt up to my nose, inhaling the scent of Elaine and my heart starts beating faster than before. It still smells like her. Just like Jasmine and I wish I could hug the scent because of how delightful and addicting it smells.

I smile and pull away as I let go of the dress and glance over the other ones as well. I've always loved the gown with the flamingo color the most. It suited Elaine so much and her curves were shown perfectly, it was made for her.

I feel guilt building up inside of me and my smile slowly fades away. There's someone else I have to share my love with now and Y/n needs it the most. Elaine is dead and will never return back to life and fate is fate.

I was made for Y/n and she was made for me. Johnny made that clear as well.

I turn away and walk over to the drawer and place the pictures one by one and next to each other against the fall. Elaine's fragrances are placed in the drawer on the right side and her jewelry is on the left side while I placed the pictures in the middle.

I open the first drawer, revealing big picture books, and hesitate, thinking about which one I should look inside. There are so many choices. Most of them are filled with pictures of me, Johnny in the military, and some other friends. There are also pictures of Elaine and me. Pictures of my friends in me in the bar or even Elaine's womb.

I pick out the one with the vertical rainbow colors and white stripes. I open the huge book, revealing several pictures of Johnny and me, a small smile builds on my lips as I stare at the older pictures.

These are memories I need to always keep safe and who knows, I might show them to Y/n one day when she's mature enough to understand why I'm hiding all of this. I feel sinful, hiding this all behind her back but it's just for her safety. I'm doing this because I love her.

The grey wooden floor suddenly cracks and my eyes instantly flinch to the door, only to be greeted by Y/n, who's holding her plushie in one hand and rubbing her eye with the other one. "Daddy?" She calls, but my eyes widen and gut pounds faster against my chest. I nervously gulp down my saliva.