DADDY ISSUES | JM

15: comfort.

park jimin

I rush out of my house and into the front garden after I put on my slippers. It's dark and cold outside and I can see my own breath through the lamps beside the doorframe. Y/n ran out about three minutes ago and she only wears the shirt I gave her and sweatpants and I'm afraid she might catch a cold.

I know a lot about Y/n. I know her since she was little. Her dad, Johnny, and I were best friends ever since we were young. Our parents were friends as well and we grew up together. Johnny was a great man. We even went to the military together. Our lives were filled with so much laughter, love, and trust. I was like a brother to him.

Thinking about Johnny makes me want to tear up.

He was such a great human. He always tried to cheer up the people around him. He made all of his friends laugh during dinner, at a restaurant, or at the bar. He was loyal and often donated money to children at orphanages. Johnny deserved a better life. He didn't have much money but still shared it with other people. His parents died during a plane crash but he still had a bright smile on his face and I adored him so much for all of that.

After some time, he met Lydia. A woman who was working at the bar we always went to. I remember that day when he forwarded his hand for her to take and dance with him to the old 90s music. He was so happy. He couldn't stop talking about her and he got her number after some time. They dated and got married.

And after a few months of being married, Lydia, his wife, and Y/n's mother got pregnant. Johnny couldn't wait for Y/n to be born and stand on her small feet. I also couldn't wait for Y/n to finally be born and watch her grow up. The time back then was so beautiful. I wish I could go back and enjoy the good times.

Johnny and I went to the doctors back then, after a few days, Lydia was announced pregnant since he always had difficulty breathing and indigestion. The doctors clarified that Johnny has heart cancer, after the checkup. I can still remember Johnny's sorrowful-filled eyes and the way he tried to hide his tears.

It was so difficult and heartbreaking to see my own best friend suffering like that and I couldn't help him. I didn't know what to do but cry with him and just hug him. He deserved so much better in his life. He did so many good deeds, but his life was still awful.

Johnny wanted me to accompany him to Y/n's birth. He said, that I deserve to be there too since I'm his best friend and the only friend he never wants to lose. It was such an honor for me to be there. And the moment I held little Y/n in my arms, I cried. I cried tears of sympathy and happiness. I knew Y/n was going to have a hard life, having no father is not easy. And she was so small and fragile, cute.

Her body was so light and so small. I felt like I hold a small world in my arms. I was there when Lydia gave birth to Y/n. She held onto my hand and Johnny's. She cried tears of pain and screamed. It was so scary seeing how she tried to push her out.

After I gave Lydia the baby, Johnny told me he wanted to talk to me in private and I did as he wanted. We went outside the hospital and there was a huge garden with a fountain. It was night time and there was no other soul to be seen. We were the only ones there.

I couldn't believe what he said next.

"I only have four years left," He said and looked at me with glossy eyes. My breath got stuck in my throat and I didn't know what to say. My best friend told me that he was going to die. He said it straightly into my face and he even tried to shine off his smile. He was so strong. The strongest man I knew. "D-Do me a favor, Jiminssi," Tears welled up in my eyes and in his as well.

"Take care of Y/n," He said. "T-Take her with you when s-she's old enough," He said and his eyes got puffy. Tears rolled down my cheeks. "I want to be a good father for at least four years of her lifetime," There was nothing more painful than this. "P-Please promise me," He stops and sobs and rests his hands on his knees, not looking at me. "You'll be there for her," I took him in my arms after that and we cried. We let it all out and shared our tears with each other, like good old friends.

And I knew what I had to do and I waited for Y/n to grow older and reach the age of 18 to finally take her with me. I wanted that day to arrive fast so I could embrace her and tell her that everything is going to be fine. I want to grant Johnny's wish and make Y/n's life the most beautiful before I also die. Before she dies.

I arrive at a playground near my dwelling house and notice a small familiar-looking person sitting on one of the swings, holding onto a pink plush giraffe. Y/n. I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't mean what I said. I just didn't want her first time to be with me, an older man. I love Y/n. I love her so much and I know it's wrong. I shouldn't have fallen for her the second I saw her crying helplessly on the wet and dirty street. But I couldn't help it.

I know that Y/n loves me too. And I adore her for the way she feels for me. Pure. Her love is pure for me and I know she wants me to make love to her and love her to the fullest. And I do. I love her to the fullest, but I repeat, it's wrong. She deserves someone who's young and lives with her until the end of time.

I thought girls her age would prefer to have sexual intercourse with people their age, young and playful boys. But I guess Y/n isn't like that. I remember walking past her old home. I always heard screams and cries coming from inside and I knew exactly what Lydia did.

She abused Y/n. She hurt her and blamed her for Johnny's death. I can't wait to confront her because of that and what she did to small Y/n. She hit her and let out her sorrow on Y/n instead of sharing it with her and loving her. I regret giving her my hand when she screamed in pain while giving birth to Y/n.

I walk towards Y/n and sit down on the other swing but she doesn't move as she's staring at the ground. I feel guilty not telling her the whole truth. It's just not the right time. I'll tell her one day, but just not now. "Go away, please... I don't want to see you," Ouch. Her voice is soft and it sounds like she has been crying. This reminds me of the day she met me for the first time.

I don't like seeing her crying.

"Y/n, Darling," I carefully place my palm on her back and stroke her a little bit while she looks at the ground and sniffs as she wipes away her tear. My eyes soften. "Princess, I didn't mean what I said-" I say but she cuts me off. "Then why did you even say it? You're just like everyone else!" She doesn't look at me and my heart breaks. I hurt her.

"I'm sorry, Baby. Please look at Daddy," I say and cup her face in both hands she looks at me and I notice her puffy and wet eyes. "I really didn't want to hurt you, Princess. Daddy just wants the best-" She breaks me off again. "I don't care!" She cries and slams her face in her hands and the plushie falls onto the ground. I hate what I'm seeing.

"Baby Doll," I stand up and crouch down to take the plushie. "Baby, please I hate seeing you cry," I stand in front of her. I feel so much culpability and so much misery. She hates me right now, but I know that when I hug her, it gives her comfort and love. She needs that.

I softheartedly embrace her with my arms and pull her closer to my stomach as she cries her soul out and I tightly shut my eyes, trying to bear the pain. I feel like shedding tears as well at her situation. She then stops and I slowly loosen myself from her and pull the hem of my shirt and forward it to her nose. I don't care if it gets dirty, it's Y/n.

She cleans her nose after taking my shirt in her hands and stands up. I hand her the plushie after rubbing on it to get it cleaned up as she lays hold of it. I once again take her cheeks in my palms and stare into her alluring shining eyes. She looks even the most beautiful when she's crying. The moonlight shines straightly on her orbs. I gently place my lips on her forehead and peck her. I once again take a look at her cute face.

I caress her cheek with my thumb and give in, closing the gap between us. Our lips fit like we're puzzles, getting back together. The kiss is filled with so much passion and affection. Just the way we like it.

We pull away and I take her empty hand in mine. "Let's go home, you'll catch a cold,"