〔 narcissist 〕
I don't understand
at all
how someone
could prioritize themselves
over everyone
every single day.
I don't understand
how they always believe you.
You scream at us
telling us we need to practice
when you say
that even you don't know
the routine perfectly.
You're only co-captain,
so why are you taking over
as if you're a coach?
We get it.
You're rich,
you can afford
being in a
colorgaurd outside of school,
you think you're better than everyone.
I'll be the first to admit it:
you are better than us
in some aspects.
You know more skills,
practice for 40 hours
on the weekends
but God...
you're so poor morally.
You criticize us
as if you hadn't done
the same exact thing
moments before.
You make us feel
horrible mentally.
so much so,
that their grades
dropped.
You give yourself away.
You contradict yourself
within minutes,
with your words
or actions.
The worst part of it all
is the fact
that no matter how much
we suffer
we cry
we die inside
because of you,
they never do anything about it
We are left defenseless,
the only people to be our shields,
turning back on us with a sword.
The person I thought had my back
turns out to take your side.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to the recruit
we helped onto the team
because now she, too,
suffers from you.
I'm sorry
to my childhood friend
who can't speak up
because they have
so much to lose.
I'm sorry
that you can't change.
I'm sorry to my captain
who tries so hard
only to see us suffer.
I'm sorry to my coach
who thinks everything is fine.
I'm sorry to myself
for pushing myself
through this all over again.
This is Hell on Earth.
