Have You Ever Seen the Sun Rise at Midnight?

One

(An: So uh, I don't know why I created this. But here we are. Um, the first bit is uh... something... basically only kissing though so fair warning, and now I'm going to go try and forget creating this.

Update, I did forget... Lucky me. Anyway now that it's finished and posted I'm going to try forgetting again before I die of embarrassment. I mean, anything in the name of trying new things to improve my writing I guess? Honestly it was kinda fun to write, like all the other overdramatized stuff I've created.

Um, I for one hope this isn't the reason I get sent to hell, non-existence, a bad reincarnation, or whatever other bad place happens after death for this and uh, I'm giving a warning on this chapter, again, KISSING AND STUFF BELOW, feel free to ask about the level if that's a concern for you, but uh; should I mark this book as mature? I feel like I should ask that.

Let me know if I should. 

Anyway, one person on this thing knows who I am- if they find this, which they probably won't, that's it. It's all over. Time to change my name, assume a new identity, and forsake civilization. Disappear into the jungle or something.

Always,
-A. )

"I love you," you whispered, your breath gently caressing the side of their face, their arms wrapped tight around you and yours clutching at them in turn. You pressed another kiss gently against their throat and they let out a wispy kind of sigh, breath hot against the side of your face.

"I love you," you repeated arching your neck a little higher this time to press the kiss against their jaw. They moved themselves closer where they sat on your lap with a soft noise of appreciation.

"I love you," you promised a third time, this time your mouth lingered a scant, hairbreadth away from theirs, you stared into their eyes as yours locked with theirs and you asked yet again, "May I?" just like you had before you'd gently pulled them to you so that their legs straddled yours as they did now.

Their face flushed even redder and they nodded dipping their head to close the distance between your faces, you smiled teasingly as you turned your head to the side so the kiss landed on your cheek.

They kissed it anyway and again for good measure before responding, voice thick with yearning, "Yes, please." They let out a breathy little gasp as you gently nipped at their neck, hands slipping beneath their waistband. 

They leaned down again and this time you moved to meet their lips as they fell on yours, their lips capturing yours and arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders, pulling you closer as your hands slipped lower to- you jolted awake.

The room was the sort of pseudo dark that came with a certain kind of city living. Fluorescent lights flooded the cracks of your blinds and the light from your alarm clock left everything shadowed, but visible. The grey shadows that filled the room made it all the more clear as you released shaky breaths, arm falling to the other, empty, side of the bed just how alone you were. Your hand trailed over to the unused pillow on the other side as if searching for something to ease that abrupt feeling of emptiness, loss, that you found welling up within yourself with the sudden surge of wakefulness that had you conscious at this early hour.

There was nobody that the second pillow had been meant for. It had just been another attempt to make the large bed seem a little less empty without feeling too pathetic about yourself. It hadn't worked. The perpetually unused pillow just standing as another reminder of just how alone you were, yet still doing nothing to fill space in the too large bed.  Fingers carefully trailed along about the side of the unused pillow, toying with the soft corner of it briefly before you rolled over and sighed, pushing yourself up from the bed once your feet were planted on the cold floor and letting the sheets fall where they may.

No one would see them or complain if things were less than organized.

With that thought you trudged to the kitchen to get started on coffee. There was food in the refrigerator, and you knew you should eat some with all the caffeine you planned to drink that morning- if it was morning yet- but your appetite was missing and you couldn't find the energy to force yourself to eat, much less fumble to put together a suitable meal. Instead you just opened the laptop that sat forever plugged in on the table and got to work.

The screen was too small, not to mention bright, but you hadn't wanted a desktop, the plan had been to be able to work wherever you liked. You had the freedom to. Yet here it sat, with its own little dust border from the lack of movement.

Out of spite, you shifted it ever so slightly to the right and bit back a yawn before resuming your typing.

I love you.

For some reason those three words lingered on the back of your tongue, ghosts of familiar but unused words you hadn't heard yourself say in years. A remmenant of a forgotten feeling, the remains of some forgotten dream fighting for your attention.  You didn't know why it made you feel that way, you'd never had any significant attachments before, but...

       "I love you."  The words slipped from your mouth in a near silent whisper, disappearing into the emptiness of your room as quickly as it came, you leaned back in the creaky chair, one arm draped across your face to block the blaring white screen light from your eyes.  You didn't know why, but those words brought you some comfort. "I love you," you whispered softly into the nothingness even if you didn't know why or to who, "I love you, I miss you, I love you."

       A shaky sigh slipped out interrupting the stream of words. We'll meet again. The words echoed in your head, strange and meaningless, and you did not know why. You didn't say them, they weren't your words. 

       Just sighed again and stretched your arms up into the air before setting them to work on the keyboard again, typing rapid fire as you set your attentions on the day's work. You were up anyways, might as well get it out of the way so that you could do something fun in the afternoon- you knew you wouldn't anyways, but it was a fun thing to promise yourself sometimes.

       For some reason the melancholy had given way to a sort of lightness and you thought perhaps, maybe after finishing this one last thing you could get yourself some nice tea along with a sandwich or two for the morning meal.