it could never happen

2

"you stink!"

"you're so lazy"

"are you afraid of the shower or some shit?!"

billie ignores them as she continues to walk to her class. why did she even bother to come. she hasn't been here for weeks. and it should've stayed that way.

her head was pounding. she couldn't remember the last time she ate something. the only thing she'd been drinking was water and alcohol.

she sat down in the back, pulling her hood over her head. even though she was so warm she felt like she was going to pass out. she had a beanie and a hood over her head.

she was wearing the same hoodie as always. with some sweatpants. her shoes were slippers, with comfy socks.

"hey freak! why don't you go back to the trash where you belong?" this dude always felt the need to make comments.

she kept her face straight, the comment didn't bother her. or maybe it did. everything and everyone did actually.

maybe it was the annoyed tone from her mom this morning, the way her dog kept barking, the way the tv volume was too loud, the way her head was pounding.

tears started to roll down her cheeks. she felt like a pot of water boiling over. like everything everyone did was just to get her pissed off.

she stood up and ran to the bathroom, before the teacher could even come to class. her heart was pounding, the whole world spinning.

do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it. do it.

rolling up the sleeve of her hoodie, she sank down on the bathroom floor. why did she listen to her mom? she knew she could never help.

just try billie it'll get better.

you just need to get out of that stupid room.

come on just go to school it'll make you feel better.

nothing made her feel better. absolutely nothing. she could get everything she'd ever want and this feeling would never even bother to leave her chest.

billie took the blade out of her pocket, sliding it gently across her wrist. her whole wrist was full of scares, full of everything she'd done to herself.

yet the void could not be filled. because no matter how hard she tried. she could never be happy.