it could never happen

4

"so billie, why're you here today?" the woman in front of her asks. like she didn't know. her mom had told her everything there was to know.

"my mom forced me." was her only answer. pulling the sleeves of her hoodie more down. this whole situation made her very uncomfortable.

talking to someone never helped. because she knew that just talking wasn't going to fix anything. nothing could help her.

and no one but herself could make her feel better. the only thing was that she didn't want to feel better. she loved being in pain.

she loved it. it made her feel something. she found comfort in it. she found comfort in every bad thing she did.

"why do you think she forced you to come here?" this woman was so annoying, billie wanted to scream. her breathing was too loud, and the way she looked at billie made her feel sick to her stomach.

"because she's a bitch" was her only answer before she stood up. the therapist tried to say something to her but she didn't listen. as she ran out of her office, out of the building.

her mom was at work. there was no way she'd know unless they told her mom. which they most likely were. but that didn't matter right now.

billie ran down the street, she ran so fast her legs were hurting. her stomach too. it had been a long time since she'd done anything else than lay in bed.

her body wasn't built for this anymore. not when she hadn't eaten for a long time. and had only had alcoholic drinks.

this all didn't feel so bad. somehow she liked the way her head felt like it was going to explode. the way her stomach felt like it was eating itself.

this all made her feel alive.

and maybe this was the end. maybe her misery was over. maybe this is the end.

with a short breath, she tripped over a rock. her head hitting the ground hard. before she could even think. everything went black.