LIGHT

Bokuto flipped on the light, walking in and closing the door behind him. He was greeted by the sight of his dull, pale, reflection in his dorms bathroom mirror.

Bokuto turned on the sink and put his hand under the water to make sure it was cold enough.

It was. But nothing could ever be as cold as your hand the last time he held it.

He splashed water on his face, continuing to get ready without taking a look at his reflection.

He slipped into his suit, the one he hadn't worn since high school prom (with you) and finally took a look at himself.

His shirt was unbuttoned, his tie wasn't tightened, and his hair wasn't up.

He could care less. But in the end, he buttoned his top and tightened his tie.

He kept his hair down though. You loved when his hair was down.

He finished his look off by putting a pin of a red carnation in his shirt pocket. Looking straight at himself he forced a smile.

The smile diminishing as quick as it came.

He walked back to find Aoi wearing a basic navy blue suit.

"Are you ready?" Aoi asked. He hadn't really been sure how to talk to Bokuto this past week.

No one really had.

'What's up with Bokuto?' One of his teammates whispered to another.

'I don't know bro. He just disappeared for a week and came back a shell of himself.'

'Yeah I know...this has gone beyond emo mode.'

'He's playing better than ever, but I'm just worried about the guy.'

'Me too.'

Bokuto stuffed his hands in his pockets and rolled his shoulders back. "Yeah, let's go."

Aoi drove them to the funeral home. He didn't think Bokuto was in the right mind set to drive. But then again, he wouldn't know with how he has been lately.

Bokuto was immediately bombarded with condolences, from friends and strangers.

He nodded at each one saying "Thank you." In the same tone every time.

Akaashi knew Bokuto to his core. So instead of saying anything he put a hand on Bokuto's shoulder, nodded at him firmly, and walked away.

A silent 'I know you'll get through this.' being heard only by Bokuto.

Everything seemed to be moving so fast. Too fast for Bokuto to catch up. One second he was chatting with your parents while waiting for your reception to begin, the next he was getting up from his seat halfway through it.

Bokuto wiped his palms on his pants. He walked up to the front of the hall.

It was his time for his speech. He looked at the photo of you smiling brightly, then at your closed casket.

He looked back towards the crowd and reached for his pocket. Taking out a crumbled paper and trying but failing to unwrinkle it.

"Hello." He started, leaning into the mic.

"My name is Bokuto Kotarō and I love—loved [Y/n]."

He closed his eyes and opened them a second later, taking a deep breath in before starting again.

"Everyone here knew the amazing person she was so there's no need for me to explain it. I could talk about [Y/n] for hours but I'll keep it short for my sanity and yours."

"Everyone always asks how I have so much energy all the time. I always just shrugged it off and said 'I don't know'  because I didn't at that time."

"But this past week I've been able to think a lot. And I don't know how I just realized it but it's [Y/n]. The answers always been her. She makes me who I am and I'm glad I got to live in her light."

"But man do I feel like I'm burning now that I'm without her." Bokuto laughed quietly before clearing his throat slightly.

"But anyway, enough talk about me. Thank you all for attending [Y/n]'s funeral. Grieving sucks, it sucks less when you have people around you. I wish you all the best, thanks."

Bokuto let go of the mic, shoving his paper back in his pocket and walking off the stage. He could barely hear the clapping that followed him.

☀︎︎ꕥ꧁꧂ꕥ☀︎︎

Bokuto laid in his bed. His eyes wide open and his suit still on. He held your phone in his hands for hours.

You had given it to him on Saturday, saying that you wanted him to have it.

He couldn't sleep, drowning in his thoughts of you. So he decided to look at some photos of the two of you together.

He opened your phone, trying to ignore your wallpaper, a collage of film photos you had taken together over the years. He couldn't handle looking at it right now.

He went straight to your photos app but paused at seeing a video taken this Monday.

The cover being you smiling while holding up a sign saying 'FOR KO!!' in your messy handwriting.

It was a short video. Only a little over then one minute.

He looked over to his side to see Akio fast asleep so he put his headphones in and hesitantly pressed play.

"Bokuto Kotarō." You smiled.

Bokuto had missed your smile so much.

"Ko. I just wanted to say your full name, have I ever told you that I loved it? Bokuto Kotarō, pretty name for a pretty guy." You winked.

He laughed quietly.

"My time is up." You said abruptly. "And there is so much I want to say to you but I didn't want to ruin our week so here it is."

Bokuto turned up his volume to max. Despite having sensitive ears, the sound of your voice never hurt him.

"I love you so much. I wonder how many I times I've said that before. Either way it's not enough. I wish I could say it in person again but, you know." You shrugged, your eyes beginning to water.

Bokuto's did too.

"I hope you're doing at least a bit better. I know it's hard but your the strongest person I know, and I trust you." Tears started falling down your face.

"Well would you look at that, I'm crying. And here I thought I could go the whole video without it!" You harshly rubbed your eyes just for the tears to come back."

Bokuto stared at your face in despair. "How am I going to live without you?" He whispered.

"If I know you well, I bet your thinking 'How am I gonna live without you?'"

Bokuto wiped a tear from his eyes. You'd known him better than anyone from the day he had met you.

"But you don't have to live without me! Because Kotarō if there's one thing I know for sure it's that we'll never be apart."

You smiled brightly, "Your my twin flame Ko. Not even death could do us apart."

Bokuto grinned for the first time in forever. He'd forgotten who he was for a bit, but you never failed to remind him.

You wiped one last tear before speaking up confidently, "I assume it might be night time when your watching this? I don't know but I don't want to keep you up. So goodnight, and I love you Bokuto Kotarō, the light of my life."

So yeah, maybe it would take some years, and yeah maybe he'd never fully be okay again. But even when your gone, your the reason that things will get better.

Your the light of his life, and even your death won't dim that.