Half love, half regret- Elmax

chapter four

Maxs pov

Since I woke up it's been pretty chaotic, to say the least. Doctors have been in and out of my room for days, talking about treatment and shit; also all of my friends have been in my room, helping me through stuff. Like, the Byers offered to let me stay with them because, ya know cause, my house is gone, and so is my mom.

I don't blame her, I mean; I am mad at her for leaving. But, everyone has been saying she left after she got the third medical bill, they said she didn't want to but the dept was just too much for her. I just, it makes me feel worse than I already do. Like, I know I am blind, can't walk(for now hopefully), has trauma, and is stupid, but did she really have to leave? She could've at least left a note; but no, she didn't. She just ran away from her problems. So now I have to deal with all this dept with no job, and no other family, I'm doing to die in dept, I swear the world hates me.

I start have to do therapy now, like full time. So this lady comes in everyday after visiting hours and trys to get me to talk about what happened, she says "they already know a lot, but it would be better for me to tell them what happened." Like they know anything. Stupid adults, they think they are so smart and helpful for doing the bare minimum! Like I'm going to be out in a mental hospital if I said 'oh yeah, there's this weird replica of Hawkins underneath the real Hawkins, but they aren't the same because weird monsters live there. So does this guy named vecna/Henry/001 who went into my mind and made me see shit, then tried to kill me like he did Chrissy, Fred, and Sebastian. No, I can't say that; so the therapy is just the two of us sitting in silence. But, she did mention group therapy so that maybe helpful for the group, because knowing us, we kinda all need it. I think some people in our group need it more than me, like El. She definitely needs therapy; I mean you don't go through all the shit and come out fine, and considering she never had a safe place or even person to go to for years, I think some therapy would be helpful. Maybe I could be her special person! That would be the dream, for El to see me as someone special. Something more than just some annoying girl, now annoying blind girl. But, that wish is far from true because we have something's in the way; those things being, Lucas and Mike.

I love Lucas don't get me wrong, he's my best friend, he's sweet and kind. But, I just don't like him like he likes me. I never have. He loves me in a way a married couple loves each other. And for so long I tried I really did; I tried to love him like that but I couldn't, even when we kissed I didn't feel anything; so when he wanted to take it farther I broke up with him, we still stayed friends, but it was for good. Then before the battle he asked me to the movies, this may have been wrong of me, selfish even. But I didn't want to die and let alone knowing no one cared enough about me, so I went with it. And that kinda now leads us to Lucas thinking we are a 'thing'. And that means he being a little bit much, like how he wants me to tell him ever I am thinking, and how he acts like we are so perfect together, he doesn't know me. He never did; I am a whole different person in his mind, he's stuck in the past. No, he's stuck in another world when it comes to me, the person he thinks I am is alien. I just want him to understand but I don't want to hurt him. And I don't want to get hurt. Because I know if he finds out I don't feel the same way, let alone that I don't even like boys, it could end with me having no one again.

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3rd person

The room was filled with chatter, the chatter of nurses, doctors, and friends(Steve, el, Joyce, and Lucas); the friends that would be there for 'moral' support. Max was having her first session of physical therapy, so she could learn to use her legs again. The decision for this was only two days old but everyone was very sure that max would be able to walk again. Max thought that they expect to much of her, that she can walk again, maybe she will be able to. But, in her mind she wouldn't be able to; she's too weak, max doesn't have the motivation to, and even if she did, she knows that she will mess it up. Just as she messes up everything else important.

Max had everyone around her bed there if she fell trying to get in her wheelchair, El stood in front of her. Calmly El held her hands, she talked about the newest issue of Wonder Woman, distracting max from the nurses rising the wheelchair up so it would be easier to get on. The nurses nodded at max indicating that she can stand now, this was only the second time max had tried standing; the first time went fine though it did feel weird and her legs hurt for days after, but doctors say that if it hurt then it means she has a very high chance of walking.

Max let go of Els hands, now holding onto Els shoulders. Slowly max put pressure on her legs, all eyes staring, everyone waiting and hoping for her to do this small thing. Maxs legs started to shake the more pressure she put on them, he hands turning white at the grip she has on Els shoulders;

Her body moved so he back was now facing the chair. Finally her legs have out and she sat there in the wheelchair, some people clapped others 'wooed' but El stood there with a small smile next to max rubbing her forearm. Max now had a light pink tint to her face because of El. The nurse behind max clapped silencing the room of any sound "let get to it shall we" the nurses voice overly excited and high pitched, max flinched at it.

They all talked on the way to the physical therapy room, max and El held hands and because of that Lucas was giving Eleven side eye. His jealousy getting more and more obvious each time max even looks at El. Once to the room everyone went to a whisper as other patients where leaving the room. The new doctor that would be helping max with her physical therapy waved them over toward her.

"Hi! You must be max!" She started staring into maxs eyes " I am doctor smith. So I am going to get to the point, this is the only session that I will let so much people in on, until you get the hang of it one person in here for support. The hope is that you will be walking in around 3-5 months." Max mentally was screaming at that. 3-5 months! And they aren't even doing anything but max is wishing she would've died during the fight with vecna, doctor smith has such and annoying voice; it's old, and shaky, you know she's a smoker because of the raspiness to her voice. Nothing about doctor smith is pleasant, she lean and lanky, but has very bad posture. Her whole aura is bad to max, the only positive is this gives max someone new to complain about.

"So let's get started, yes?"