Alpha's Little Secret

Chapter 27| An Alpha's Dilemma

I sat on the couch with Drake's head in my lap and the large TV in front of us playing some random movie I couldn't focus on. It felt impossible to pay attention to it knowing how Drake felt right now. He couldn't distract himself from the current situation even if he tried. It also didn't help much that we had argued right after coming home from the E.R. I tried to convince him that I'd stay with my parents until his hormones settled, but he was extremely against that. Like me, he couldn't be far from me for longer then a few days. It was literal torment for the both of us. As much as I tried to convince him, there was no point. I'd be entirely to worried about his needs and safety to focus on anything else.

So, we quietly watched our movie while letting our words float in the air. The aftereffect left us both emotionally drained and physically exhausted. I knew I had upset him a little. All I wanted was for him to finally have what he wanted and pregnancy wasn't part of that plan.

If pregnancy was unavoidable, then we needed to talk about our options. I knew he wasn't ready for it. He was traumatized the last time it happened and forcing him into that again felt wrong.

"If I it happens...I'll keep it," he whispered into the open. I felt my heart break, hearing him come to that conclusion. I knew he wasn't ready to be a parent. There was still so much he was figuring out about himself. We needed more time.

"Drake, you don't have to do that for me. I'm okay with what ever choice you decide to make. It's not my..."

The sensitive boy looked up at me, tears already running down his smooth cheeks. His crying always has a lasting affect on me. It made me feel useless. Like I was incapable of making him do anything else. "I can't do that again. The last time...I felt like I was taking a life. I...I know that's not what that was, but that's how it felt. It felt like I wasn't even giving them a chance. I don't ever want to feel like that again," he explained. Abortion was already such a controversial thing. There were full political campaigns running off of pro-life or pro-choice decisions that impacted many omegas. Obviously I was pro-choice. I think anybody who's capable of getting pregnant should be able to choose based on their situation. Some people didn't have the money to raise a kid. Some didn't have the heart for it. Some were forced into a situation they never wanted. Some shouldn't have been parents to begin with. Letting people choose would eliminate so many problems. It would also limit children from being born into traumatic situations.

"You were 14 and on your own. It was best decision you could've made Drake. It's different now. You're not alone anymore," I explained. I wasn't trying to convince him to have one, I was just letting him know that I was here and that he could lean on me. I wiped his tears away with my thumb, wishing I could reach inside of his mind and take his worry away.

"That's what makes this so hard. I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm already thinking about an abortion. I should be happy about it. I should be celebrating knowing that I possibly get to raise a baby with you because your my alpha. I should be..."

"Fuck expectations! Those are all things you are expected to want because society says so. It's not what I want and it's not what society wants. It's what you want. What do you want Drake?" I posed the question knowing the answer already. He wanted me. He wanted to be with me forever. He didn't have to tell me to communicate that.

"I want..." he paused, his eyes widening as the sweet smell of his scent wafted into my nose. His heat was returning already. I know the doctor said he'd have irregular heat cycles, but I nor Drake was expecting one to this soon. It had only been a couple of hours and we were no where near prepared for it.

"Max, we can't," he huffed. I pulled the boy up into my lap and hugged him tightly. As much as I was fighting the urge, it didn't matter. Even when he was telling me that we couldn't, I could feel him screaming at himself to let me. That primal lust inside of him forcing him to want it. The swelling of need knitting itself inside both of our minds. We could not fight what was ordained. What was meant to happen. What we were made to do.