Step By Step

2

War looked up, watching everyone leave.  He wiped the rest of his tears and got up.  His gaze was blank as he picked up the chocolate that yin throw on the floor. 

He souldnt felt this way?  he should have known what to expect with a lowly human like him who had dared to say love towards yin anan whose level was far from him.

Before going back home, he stopped in front of a flower shop.  For some reason his eyes caught a sunflower that was displayed in front of the shop, he smiled when he remembered that it was his mother's favorite flower.  Hesitantly he pushed the door and the shop assistant greeted him.

"Is there anything I can help?" war smiled a little, "could you prepare one stalk of sunflower for me?" the shop assistant nodded kindly, "mm.. what color ribbon do you want to use?" war was silent for a moment before he decided to choose white, before the girl left he said.. "so-mm-so  .. can I add a greeting card?"

"Sure, come over here!"

After writing a short message on the greeting card, he then pay the flowers. while he waits his flowers he end up  walking around looking at the flowers in the shop.  Accidentally his eyes caught a news that aired on TV.  He watched it casually until another news about the death case was come in.  His eyes suddenly became more alert when a very familiar name was mentioned by the news anchor on the TV. 

His eyes bulged, his soul seemed to disappear at that moment.  The shop assistant approached him.  "Here, your flow- !"  without waiting he took the flower and ran out of the shop panicly in fear. 

That may be wrong, theres so many people who have that name, it is impossible that out of the millions of people who use that name, there is no way it could be his mother right? that's not possible right?

"This morning, a woman in 50's  were declared dead due to suicide poisoning herself by inhaling carbon monoxide, was found in her own house by a neighbor who saw smoke billowing on the roof of her house.  The woman with initial AW which confirms to be Anna Wanarat is suspected of committing suicide due to depression and domestic violence since her body is full of bruise and fresh wound."

When he arrive at his house dozens of policemen stood guard around the location, war looked at something that had been covered by a shroud.  War still couldn't understand and clueless of everything.

"Are you war warnarat?"  asked the police, war nodded. The look on the police eyes and the sudden change of tone of his voice when he said sorry and confirming that his mother is dead, already giving him a hard time to deny. Yes, he still in denial. The police also stated and confirming that his mother die by suicide.

What can he do with that information? He only silent through the conversation with the police.

Apparently the police already did investigate and look around his house. He received a piece of paper, the police said they found some paper and his name was written in the letter.  After reading the words written in it, his hands suddenly trembled.

I'm tired, my son.  Ma, just want to rest in peace.  I'm sorry, my son.  This world never accepts us, they drift away until we slowly lose ourselves. 

I'm sorry, my son.  I should be stronger, we should strengthen each other, take care of each other, protect each other, i should have survived with you.  But instead i chose to give up, alone, and leave you alone.

But i know that you are the strongest person I know.  My dear, nothing is better than anything in this world than having you, my son. 

Please hold on for your ma, find the happiness you deserve in this world, if i cant find it, you will definitely find it. 

Dear love,