purpose

Business 

Businesses 

And you're always busy 

Can I take a minute 

So I can fucking breathe 

I'm always taking care of myself 

And others with cover up smiles 

Do I even exist as a person 

Or as an object 

Do you even know me 

Even for who I am 

Name one thing about me 

One thing 

I bet you can't 

I got a comment saying that I'm fat 

And I'm too positive 

And that I'm ugly 

And that my family doesn't love me 

I skinny dip in the water under the bridge 

Do you actually exist 

Or did I imagine you 

Are you all in my head 

I think that I might be going crazy 

I hear popular and unpopular people 

Hating on me from a far distance 

I just want a break from the chaos 

They're breaking me before meeting me 

I've seen it all 

But I'll be ok  

I've made it out of the chaos before 

You never want me to talk 

Fear that I'm a witch and will cast a spell on you 

So I'll just put in my headphones 

And do what you say that I only listen to 

I'll pull out Taylor Swift and cry to her 

Because apparently I'm a cheap redo 

Do you actually exist 

Or did I imagine you 

All in my own little brain 

I can see the world coming together and falling apart in a wonderful tragic circle 

I call it a beautiful trauma among all of the horrific truth of reality 

All the kids think it's cool to ruin your lungs and bodies for the sake of being cool 

Just try being the person who brings fake smiles and unhappiness to every group chat 

And the one who never has anyone backing them up when they truly need it the most 

I almost forgot that I needed to care about myself before I care about everyone else 

It makes me scared how I used to never be able to smile and say "I did this today" 

I got up and actually got a C in one of my classes today 

It was the point of disaster that has brought us humans to tear each other apart 

I knew that they were trouble when I saw what kind of bags they were holding 

But I didn't care 

Do you actually exist 

Or are you all in my head 

Do you serve as a guardian angel 

Or are you here to tell me I never had a purpose 

Because I have always waited for those words