purpose

"i did love you"

We needed a break 

Even if it's hard 

I did what was right between us 

I did love you for who you are 

But you changed too quick 

Some of the things that I said 

Were too cruel 

And I'm sorry for that 

I was weak 

Like paper to water 

It feels like yesterday was three years ago 

Because 

I have nobody here 

and I deserve it 

He said something overly truthful 

It was mind manipulation 

We did it on each other 

If I knew it all back then 

I would have stopped 

We were in the wrong 

But it wasn't your fault 

Was it my fault 

Or was it societies fault 

Why did we fight 

Why did we argue 

I only listen to Taylor Swift 

To ease the pain of loneliness 

You went to a different school 

Because you felt so smart 

You're a great friend 

But it wasn't supposed to last 

I hope you still have my funny texts 

And my box of goodies 

Because I knew that you loved them 

I want you to remember this 

I was scared about the future 

How long would we be separated 

In the near future 

You were supposed to be my 

Future 

I broke up with you 

And made stupid excuses 

And said stupid shitty words 

I did love you 

I really did 

If I were to see you again I would hug you closer than before 

Taylor said the love you're looking for 

Is the love that you had 

You had loved that other girl 

I cried in the bathroom stall 

I felt replaced as I am waiting for you 

I've never dated someone after you 

Time won't fly by 

I'm stuck here crying over it 

You were my man 

The one that I depended on 

I know that I shut down your compliments 

But I thought it was our cute thing 

I didn't mean to make you feel that way 

You're a special one of a kind person 

You gave me gifts I didn't deserve 

I did love the way you smiled 

I'm still listening to the bands you had me listen to 

Because it still reminds me of you 

I haven't had any interest in breakup poems 

None of which are about you 

One poem is about how I miss you 

But I didn't write "red" about you 

I didn't write "home decor" about you 

I didn't write anything but one "I miss you" poem 

Because I do 

I didn't mean to hurt you 

But you never let me finish 

I know that I hid how I felt 

But I was scared 

I am a bastard that deserves hell 

I will admit that 

Only "lost" the feelings two days before the glass broke 

I did molly 

Experienced the dark side of myself 

I hurt someone important to me 

Nobody let me finish 

I remember meeting up after school 

You always wanted to dance in the rain and I always did that 

Being on a money shortage 

I couldn't give you everything 

It breaks a brittle heart 

I said that I was cold hearted because sometimes I am 

But at least I experience with myself 

Like wear the clothes that are comfortable 

I did love you for everything that you did 

I did love you for who you wanted to be 

And you laughed at my jokes 

And encouraged me with your eyes at my dreams 

Like you actually loved me 

I loved the way 

You gave me those sad little eyes 

And you cuddled up with the blanket 

That I still haven't washed since you touched it 

I always brought it to school 

Nothing will save us now 

But my silence and the dark 

Opened up and turned a light on 

To see the true side of you 

Who was someone I loved for who they were 

Not for what they got me 

Or what they did 

Just who they were 

But I'm standing here 

Crying 

Rehearsing these words in the bathroom mirror 

Hoping one day you'll hear my prayer 

I did love you for being the man of my dreams 

But now I'm afraid your the man of my nightmares 

I'll wait 

That's what I told myself when it ended 

Not the first time 

But the most recent stab 

And sure I'm a bastard 

I've never known my father 

You can call me a cunt 

Any name that you want 

I'll take it 

Because I loved you 

...and I still do