Hades Ain't Got Nothing on Us

Ch. 11 - Backcountry Birthday

In a crisp, white collared shirt, Rob stood on Sephy's front porch. He looked over the creases of his expertly wrapped gift and straightened his skinny black tie.

With her hair in a ponytail, Sephy answered the door in a tee and jeans.

"You look very stately."

Rob peered at Anna gathering baskets and duffel bags behind Sephy. She had traded her designer blouses for a plaid shirt, and for the first time ever, she was wearing shorts. Guess it was a casual day.

"I overdid it, didn't I?"

"Better safe than sorry. I only found out this morning, but Anna insisted on seeing your reaction in person."

Leo came to the door in cargo shorts.

"I don't believe we've met. You must be Bond. James Bond."

Sephy laughed and tenderly unknotted Rob's tie. Rob unbuttoned his collared shirt and rumpled it into his backpack.

"I'm razzing you. Anna appreciates that you dressed up for her. Don't you, sis?"

"You do look very debonair," she admitted. "On Her Majesty's secret service?"

"Very funny. Where are we going then, now that the opera's ruled out?"

"Wyoming. Yosemite to be exact. What do you think?"

Nothing surprised Rob anymore.

"I think that sounds like the perfect place. Happy birthday."

Anna studied the wrapping with approval.

"Thank you."

"Anna, are we leaving or what?"

Deion's voice was nearly indistinguishable under the repeated clicking of a plastic orange gun. Lights flashing across his face, he was standing in front of a gigantic arcade game, which looked anachronistic in their modern living room.

"We're going. Let's see if Rob can keep up with a celebration worthy of an immortal." "I'm sure he'll hang tight with us."

Leo tossed a pair of shorts into Rob's body.

Topanga State Park was nothing compared to even the parking lot at Yellowstone. He imagined that with Sephy's unlimited choices of places to live, she must be phenomenally extroverted to choose the overcrowded suburbs of LA over this.

Deion left his houndstooth sport coat in the car.

"Don't get too comfortable. We're not at the campsite yet."

"Are we hiking the rest of the way?" Rob asked.

"Not exactly."

Anna and Leo emerged from the forest with a pack of bison. Before Rob knew it, everybody but he and Sephy were seated comfortably on the back of one.

"The best campsites aren't accessible by vehicles," Sephy explained.

Soothingly, she combed her fingers through the mane of Rob's bison while he hoisted one leg over its broad back. The bison groaned softly but did not budge. Anna giggled in the background until Leo elbowed her in the rib.

Despite the bison being a foot taller than her, Sephy mounted hers in one fluid motion. They set out on a trail leading deep into the wilderness. Fishermen along the way stared in disbelief at their caravan. Anna seemed to enjoy the attention, but Rob felt out of place, like he was pretending to be someone he wasn't, a god who had the power to bend feral animals to his will. It didn't help that Sephy and her friends were also triggering geysers and boiling hot springs as they passed by.