Hades Ain't Got Nothing on Us

Ch. 6 - Provenance

Allison got back late from her shopping trip. Rob hoped she exercised her sound judgment in picking outfits, and not her classmates' advice. As a whole, the freshmen girls' wardrobe read like an advertisement for shrink-proof laundry detergent, in a rap music video, set in a strip club.

"Get anything good yesterday?" he asked.

Her bulging bag meant one of two things: a couple of burly garments, or a wealth of skimpy ones.

"Only a few things," she answered.

Rob smiled privately. Doubt should never have crossed his mind. Burly was more her style anyway. He poured her a glass of orange juice and stood across the table.

"Can I ask your opinion?"

"Anything."

"You might call me a hypocrite afterwards, and rightly so, after I've advised you not to talk about people behind their backs."

"You can stop with the preface, Rob. I know you, and I think Sephy would be grateful if she knew she had a concerned friend like yourself looking out for her."

Encouraged, but still a smidge guilty, Rob plated a pancake for his sister and continued with Sephy's interest at heart.

"Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary about them?"

"Hmm. Have you seen their skin?"

Rob was confused. They had skin, if that's what she meant.

"At their age, they should have more oil deposits than the Middle East, and more craters than the moon like the rest of us. At least one open pore. But all four of them have flawless skin, as smooth as the day they were born."

"That's not unusual. Some people have good genes."

"Maybe they have the same genes. How's that blow your mind? Ears are hereditary, and theirs are replicas of one another."

"Two of them are twins, and one is a cousin of the twins."

"No, no, they are all siblings. I'm a photographer, Rob. I notice these things, and as a girl, there are a few more things I've picked up on. I'm sure you've noticed Sephy has that incredibly lustrous mane, like each strand is a different shade of gold? They all have perfect hair, even Leo and Deion, and the most exquisite lips. I've never seen a pink like that exist in the natural world, yet I haven't seen any of them with so much as a tube of chapstick. It's ridiculous, almost inhuman."

Rob was silent. He never considered their looks to be part of their mystique, Sephy's included.

"Do you still feel guilty?" she asked.

"I would say I'm more confused."

"Listen, I know you are concerned about seeing Sephy happy, but I want you to know we all want to see you happy too, Rob."

"I think at this point that would be contingent upon Sephy."

"We're pulling for you."

"Does everyone know?"

"I noticed it long ago, but when those ludicrous flyers came out, everyone figured it out. The story was distinctly Zooey's brainchild, and she wouldn't have it out for Sephy otherwise. Whoever taught her how to Photoshop should be shot."

"I feel guilty that I put her on Zooey's hit list."

"It's not your fault. You have to live your life, but dang. Hell hath no fury like a gossip whore scorned."

The school was deserted that day, even though it meant a field trip for many of the absentees. From the new lunch crowd, an outsider would have presumed M.P. Prep's dress code mandated Return to Wolfenstein shirts and ankle-length jeans. Taking advantage of the extra room, the bespectacled students migrated from their usual spot to loll on the grass. Topics of conversation shifted from luxurious manicures and coveted $5,000 handbags, to advances in medical technology and Comic-Con. It was a refreshing change for Rob, who could not help but pick up on some of it from inside the music building. The way the girls boasted of things that were meant to inspire beauty always made them sound so ugly.