Love Letters to Silence [Poetry]

7. 19.Jan.2020 (16)

7. 19.Jan.2020

"I just... I really want this to work." He looks at me as if he's desperately grasping at my silent words, grappling at tethered ropes in his mind to say something, anything, to get me to stay. I look at him and smile sadly, because he never had to say a word.

We spend long days and short nights together on the patio, staring out into the orange Summer hues of a falling sky that is always just out of our reach, but it never stops us from trying.

Autumn winds blow, crisp leaves fall around us as we jump into the piles of shades of browns that we've only just raked up moments before, but we'll rake up again because this is the first time you've smiled in a while.

We huddle by the fire inside to escape the Winter chill that brushes by the windows and caresses our cheeks, tinging them pink. You look at me and the fire reflects into your blue eyes. For a moment, I see the devil dancing in the hell of your mind that you can never quite escape from, but boy do you try.

In the Spring we watch bumbling bees bounce from flower to flower; you watch them entranced. And I wonder what you think as you reach out your over-worked hands and gasp at the low-hanging branches of the jacaranda tree we planted together years before, and I hope that the dew drops hold the type of magic that heals all the exhausted pain you attempt to hide, but in the time between moments I still catch you gasping for breaths of air.

It's as if you've painted love across my forehead in a shining marker that you promised was permanent, but it was only ever water-based. Crocodile tears washed them away in the silent nights that you worked late, only to arrive back with the opportunities you've only ever dreamed of.

"I just... I really want this to work." He looks at me desperately, grasping at my silent words, grappling at the tethered ropes in his mind to say something, anything, to get me to understand. And I look at him and smile sadly, because he never had to say a word.