Hidden Thoughts and Unspoken Truths - Dream SMP

From the kindness of spite

Summary: The last chapter where people makeup, joke, and Wilbur learns what truly happened to Tommy.

Content Warning: mention of suicide, mention of exile, angst, screaming, implied depression

Technoblade knew, that he couldn't stay on ill terms with Wilbur forever. He also knew that today was not about him.

Today was about Tommy and Wilbur. 

What had started off as a measly little resting point in Techno's life had turned into something of hurt and spite. 

With Phil's help, Techno learned about Tommy's past. About his trauma. The exile, the TnT, the L'manberg, the van, the war, about Niki, Fundy, Eret, Tubbo, and most importantly, Wilbur. Techno had learned about Logstedshire, the blowing up of inventory, and the tower. He'd learned about the disc, the duel, the rebellion. 

But Technoblade was also aware that Tommy's older brother was painfully unaware. 

Wilbur and Tommy were in the living room. Philza and the others surrounded them, all in idle conversation. It was as quick as a heartbeat, Wilbur's voice rang through the house, Tommy's sharp remarks firing seconds later. 

"The tower Wil!" Tommy screamed. "Do you really want to know about the goddamn tower?" Tommy's eyes watered, blue turning murky. Wilbur stood, towering only a few inches from Tommy. Blue eyes met black and the fire in Tommy died. Philza stood, hovering and watching his two children.

"I do Tommy, I really, really do," Wilbur nodded, swallowing. 

Tommy clenched his fists, huffing out a laugh of anger at past revelations."For fucks sake Wil," Nobody moved to correct Tommy's language. Nobody dared to speak. "I was on that stupid island for god knows how long. I made progress, but every single day, Dream would come and destroy it, bit by bit. The hope that had remained in me died day by day. It left, and left, and left, until one day." Tommy took a breath, "Until one day, there was no more hope." Tommy cast a long look at his father, "This tower, was where I went to kill myself. because of Dream." Another dark, bitter laugh. Techno could nearly taste the bitterness. 

Wilbur faltered, "Tommy," His expression grew dark, and Techno could only begin to imagine the thoughts, visions, and images ringing in his head.

"SHUT UP WILBUR. PLEASE!" Tommy cried. Tears ran freely down his face. "Do you know, how much damage is now in my life? Everything, T-There is- I hope you understand that exile damaged me Wil. I can't take damage without seeing the tower, without seeing Dream. I can't listen to the sound of TnT or even a bloody creeper without hearing you and Eret betraying me. I can't look at the color blue without seeing Ghostbur in Dream's arms, hearing him cry as I counted the seconds till his death. There is so much damage." Tommy muttered the last sentence, staring up at Wilbur. 

There was nobody in the room besides them. Wilbur stared at his younger brother in turn. 

"Tommy," Wilbur tried again, "I'm sorry that this happened to you. I-I knew that exile had been bad, a-and that you hadn't enjoyed it. But... I hadn't realized how deep it truly cut, you" There was an old apology in these words, words that Wilbur had withheld. "I'm sorry I didn't realize, and I'm truly sorry that I wasn't there for you."

If Tommy heard Wilbur's words, he didn't show it. He sat himself down shakily on the stairway, head in his hands. Wilbur then turned to Technoblade. 

"Technoblade, I'm sorry about my previous actions," Wilbur apologized, earning a raised brow from the god. "I haven't been in the right state of mind, I've had this dark-rooted hole of despair in me ever since m-my return, my little blow-up scheme." A look from Niki at the use of words earned a soft "sorry" from Wilbur. "I've held myself at a podium, believing that because of my actions, I was indestructible and that anyone who came and made even the slightest hint at being a potential threat, my flight or fight mode would just appear, and it seemed as though I picked fight every single time." A little chuckle from. "I'm sorry for how I acted, I truly hope that you can find it in you to forgive me because I do believe that you and I could help each other,"