Pricing The Heart

Chapter 19

Nearly two months had passed since David saw Eloise. Yet, she remained with him. Every time he closed his eyes, she was there. The smell, taste and feel of her lingered in his mind, taunting him, urging him to return to her. And he wanted to. There were days he was certain he needed to, days he woke up with the determination to pack his bags and return to Oakham Hall to be with her. He could not legally marry her, but he could claim her as his and live the rest of his days with her by his side; perhaps then he might be happy again. He knew he had gotten a taste of happiness when his lips merged with hers, and after their kiss ended, he was left with a desperate ache for more.

Still, fear kept him imprisoned in Scotland; the fear of losing his heart to Eloise like he had lost it to Adeline, then eventually losing Eloise altogether like he had lost Adeline. David knew he could not live with the pain of a second loss, nor could he live with the guilt of harming...

Killing, he was cruelly reminded. He killed Adeline, and to this day, his hands reeked of her blood.

Combing his hair with his fingers, he let out a shaky breath. He couldn't return to Oakham, nor could he be with Eloise. Turning away from her was what was best, even if it pained him to do so. He only hoped she was well and wondered if she had taken the money he instructed Miles to give to her. Curious to find out, he pulled out his inkwell and began penning a letter to Miles.

Dear Mr. Miles,

How is Mrs Taylor faring? Did she take the money I offered? You mustn't spare any expenses in ensuring she is comfortably situated in a home of her choosing and is duly cared for. See to her needs, whatever they may be. See that she lacks for nothing and that she's not denied anything. See that she's happy, for this is my wish for her.

Leaning back, he read the note aloud before condemning it in the hearth for appearing to have been written by a smitten schoolboy. Then, he took a fresh sheet and began writing again. But the more he wrote, the more impossible it was to conceal his true feelings for Eloise. An hour and several pieces of papers later, he settled on writing an impersonal letter. He began by enquiring about his lands and investments, demanding to know the financial state of his estate, before signing out with a casual mention of Eloise and whether or not she had conceded to taking his money. He sealed the note, silently praying his steward would take the hint and provide him with more information as to the whereabouts of Eloise.

Miles' response did not come until four days later. Barely paying attention to the part that outlined the state of David's estate, he skimmed the letter for the part about Eloise. A small smile tugged on his lips when he learned Eloise had accepted the money and was looking into renting a house just outside of London. Miles had found a suitable home and was in the process of finalizing the lease agreement.

Pleased to learn Eloise was indeed well, David could barely ignore the feeling of unease in the depths of his stomach at the thought of never seeing her again.

Shaking his head to dispel the unpleasant thought, he read the rest of the letter in a hurry, barely paying attention until his gaze rested on Miles' final words:

Please accept my deepest condolences for the demise of Her Grace.

David felt like he had been scorched by the piece of paper as he released his grip on it and jumped to his feet. Horrified, he gawked at the letter now discarded on his desk. His mother was dead?! The thought weakened him, causing his knees to tremble. Gripping the edges of the desk, he tore his lips apart and struggled to force air through his constricted lungs.

How?! When?! His heart raced for answers. He imagined the illness that had eaten at her body since their father's passing was what finally claimed her life, but he wondered when the tragedy had occurred. If her passing happened several weeks ago, there was no doubt in his mind that she had been buried in his absence—the thought dragged tears to his eyes. Not only had he missed the opportunity to be with his mother in her last days on earth, he had been deprived of the privilege of being present as she was laid to rest.