Pricing The Heart

Chapter 30

Adam did not join David for breakfast the next morning, or the several other mornings that followed. Yet, David did not relent in his invitations. He thought it was because he was lonely. It wasn't the sort of loneliness he had grown accustomed to over the years since the passing of Adeline, the kind that made him desire to hide himself from the world. This was different. It was a chasm, an emptiness that made the darkness of his seclusion uncomfortable, until he was desperate to fill the void, and for the first time in five years, he didn't want to be alone.

Several weeks passed before Adam showed up at the breakfast table. David had been picking at his asparagus salad, his mind fixed on Eloise as it often was when he was alone, when Adam entered. He raised his gaze in time to watch Adam settle on the seat across from him silently, barely offering David a glance. The silence lasted the entire breakfast, until Adam rose to his feet and joined his tutor in the schoolroom for his lessons. David didn't see him until the next morning at breakfast, where the two shared another silent meal.

Their lives fell into a silent routine, one David loathed but endured, because more than the silence, he loathed the loneliness. He stole a glance at Adam, thinking he would rather have him sit across from him and say nothing than not have him be present at all. In truth, he blamed himself for the silence, for in his grief, he had neglected his son, building a wall of silence. Now, he must suffer for it the same way he suffered everyday for pushing Eloise away.

He let out a shaky breath as he replaced his fork on the plate and rose to his feet. Adam glanced up.

David shook his head. "I must excuse myself, but please, finish your food."

Turning from him, he made for the door.

"May I go to see her?" Adam called.

Pausing in his tracks, David stiffened, knowing well who it was Adam meant to visit.

"It's been four months. I shall not tarry, only for a few hours then I shall return."

Four months. Yet, the time apart did nothing to heal the wound of his shattered heart.

"I... cannot let you go," he murmured.

"Why not?!" Frustration—perhaps anger—laced every word.

Because I'm afraid I might not have the courage to walk away from her again. "It is what's best."

"For who?!" A loud sound exploded in the room, causing David to turn sharply around. Adam sat there, his fists on the table, anger burning in his eyes. "I already did what you wanted; I've been on my best behavior, I've paid attention to my education, and I've endured several mornings breaking my fast with you! It is cruel for you to deprive me of this one request that I might visit a dear friend!"

"You misunderstand me." David shook his head. "It is not to punish you that I'm forced to refuse your request."

"Then why?" His voice broke, and as a tear slipped down his cheek, he rushed to sweep it away. "Please...please, Father, I must see Mrs Taylor. It is only fair after all this time apart."

David stared at his son, torn between the longings of his own heart and what he knew must be done. He knew if he gave into Adam's plea—a plea that echoed his own desires—he would relent in his decision to stay away from Eloise. One look at her would have him falling to his knees and begging her forgiveness for his cruelty. He would hold onto her, and God knew he would never let her go again.

And my love shall destroy her.

Shaking his head bitterly, he said, "My decision stands... You cannot see her."

Neither can I, he thought as he turned and stalked out of the room.

**

"Perhaps you might like some more tea?" Eloise asked, motioning to the empty teapot, hoping Mr. Miles might take the hint and leave her be for the rest of the day. It was a most cruel thought, especially because Mr. Miles was instrumental in her comfortable settlement in her new home, but the gentleman's visits had become more frequent than Eloise thought was appropriate, and having endured the last two hours chitchatting about the most irrelevant things, Eloise was simply exhausted.