Anything But Beautiful » a.r.

Chapter 17: Wild Ride

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END!!!

Also this is probably my favourite chapter. It really sets how much Alex truly cares about Sage I'm honestly v happy with how it turned out.

-Hope

*Alex's POV*

After Sage calmed down and realized that I was not mad at her she relaxed and fell asleep in the passenger seat.

I still couldn't get over the fact her father had hit her other times. And her abusive boyfriend. I could tell she still loved him by the hurt in her eyes when he was talking about how he used to be the best thing that ever happened in the world. It literally killed me when I saw the pain in her eyes. Her eyes said, "how could you do this to me?"

I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but what if he wasn't abusive? I found out in one of her first Youtube videos she mentioned the only reason she started it was because someone on Tumblr wanted to hear her sing. And the only reason she made a Tumblr was because she needed an escape, she used to run a depression blog, she stated. Well what if he was never abusive, causing her to never make a Tumblr, which would mean she'd have never made a Youtube account, so she wouldn't have gone to Playlist Live, so she never would've been in that Starbucks. I would've never met the love of my life if it wasn't for that jackass. I'd still be sleeping around and going back to Delanie even though she's a bitch.

I mean if I had the ability to go back in time and make sure she never met him, even if it meant I'd never get to be with her, I'd do it. I wouldn't want her to go through all that again. I'd put her happiness before my own. Which is a first. I've always used someone and never gave a crap about how they felt. But this time, I do. Like a lot. I don't think anyone else could've had this major of an affect on me.

She looks so peaceful, sleeping with her earbuds in, listening to Car Radio by 21P. She always has her music loud so I can always hear it.

I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it's dire
My time today

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

Sometimes quiet is violent
I find it hard to hide it
My pride is no longer inside
It's on my sleeve
My skin will scream
Reminding me of
Who I killed inside my dream
I hate this car that I'm driving
There's no hiding for me
I'm forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction to mask what is real
I could pull the steering wheel

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

I ponder of something terrifying
'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind
I find over the course of our human existence
One thing consists of consistence
And it's that we're all battling fear
Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here
Oh my,
Too deep
Please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound

There are things we can do
But from the things that work there are only two
And from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win
And fear will lose
There's faith and there's sleep
We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive
And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

(Oooh) [x4]

(Oooh) [x6 & repeats in background]
And now I just sit in silence [x2]
And now I just sit

And now I just sit in silence [x3]
And now I just sit

I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it's dire
My time today

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

I wonder what she's dreaming about. I know it's nothing bad because I've learned that when it is a night terror she tosses and turns a lot. She's sleeping peacefully, for once.

I honestly didn't expect any of this to happen like this. I expected going to Playlist Live, meeting my perfect betcherinas, then coming home to hang with Will. I didn't expect to meet the most beautiful girl in the world, let alone take her home with me. This whole weekend has been an absolute blessing and I cannot thank God enough.

••••••••••
IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!

It is officially Summer for me! So I will most likely be updating more! I am sizzling with so many new ideas, let's just hope they work out. *knock on wood*

I'm so proud of Caitlyn Jenner! She deserves all the happiness, and her story shows people no matter who they are or how old they are they don't have to stay who they are "supposed" to be, they can be who they really are and be happy.

Also I need names for this story and future stories. It's the hardest part because I do not want to repeat names from my other stories.

Names I've used:
• Emma
• Taylor
• Sage
- the next ones I used in the Troye Sivan one shots
• Kat
• Yen
• Sam
• Rose
• Darien
• Amber
• Lil
• Meghan
• Julian

Alsooooooo, Alex and Taylor are together!!! Idk for sure if its for realzies tho. But I don't care. I think it's adorable. Since he went to Cali and hung with her and his snapchat stories with her. He seemed so happy in them so I am ecstatic he's finally met someone amazing. Even if she is a Bieber stan ;) jk

Also Alex tweeted about new merch coming out soon. One says "BETCH" with him doing a weird af face. Another one is of him smiling and it says "#1 Alex Ramos Stan" or something like that. I'd buy the second one and wear it, but only ironically.

ZAC PULLAM IS ADORABLE AND HONESTLY IF IT WOULDNT BE LIKE ROBBING THE CRADLE (he's like 13 and i'm 17) I'D SO HMU 😎 BTW ZAC IS ARMADILLO FROM FINDING CARTER. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU BECAUSE PPL IRL FOLLOW ME AND TWITTER AND I DONT WANT THEM TO THINK I'M A CREEPER BC HE'S MY LITTLE BROTHERS AGE.

Sorry for the long A/N I just has a ton to say cx

My Twitter: @ sorryimhope
Alex's Twitter: @ sorryimalex
Taylor (Alex's gf??)'s Twitter: @ taylorannJDB

-Hope