Fucking emo

Fucking sick

I was fucking sick.

But he wasn't.

He remained attentive and serious.

I stopped watching once the vomiting became uncontrollable. The girl had tried to feed him what was about four gallons of milk, but she just kept pouring it straight from the carton into his mouth. He was a mess, having spit most of it, and he was soaking in the white liquid. She was now pouring the leftovers on his head, mixing in with the blood coming out of his eyebrow, nose, and lips.

She had beaten him badly. And repeatedly. And he just took it, just like an emo kid would.Like  Alex would.

He was kneeling, but barely. He was just barely holding himself upright, and his head hung to the side. He seemed catatonic. The wedgies she gave him didn't faze him. We couldn't hear a word they were saying, but she seemed to be speaking a lot.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Alex was so calm, so collected, in the midst of all this chaos. How could he be so indifferent to the suffering of others? Was he really attracted to those like him, those who felt nothing? I couldn't help but wonder if I was one of those people, if I was the reason he was drawn to me. Did he see something in me that he saw in himself? Or was it something else entirely?

"Why?" I asked Alex, as I stared into his eyes. His were focused on the situation on the next roof. "Why are they doing it?"

He shrugged. And after a few moments, he looked straight at me, and our eyes locked. He was beautiful. His jet black hair, the big blue eyes...and something was in his look.

"Why don't you stop it?" I asked him.

He shrugged again and gave me a little half-smile. The same I got before. Sort of complicit, shy... but it really wasn't that.

I saw it then. It was a learned reflex. It meant nothing. His eyes betrayed it. His arrogance steamed from that. They were indifferent. To anyone and everyone, and mostly to himself. He was truly alone.

Maybe he couldn't relate to anyone...and he was maybe, for some reason, attracted to those like him. Those who felt nothing about the suffering of others or themselves, people who maybe wanted to destroy each other...and maybe even themselves in the end...maybe...people like me?

☆