𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, jeremiah fisher

twelve. i care too

tw: toxic relationship, physical & mental abuse, gaslighting

2 years ago.

MY EYES ARE glossy with unshed tears. I can't cry. I won't do it. Not when it makes him even angrier. As he stares down at me, there is nothing but malice and hostility in his eyes. I wonder where the sweet and soft-spoken boy I fell for has gone. He hasn't been the same for a while. Everything just got so much worse after we came back home from spending the summer in Cousins.

I wish I had never brought him with me. Maybe then I wouldn't have lost my best friend.

As I think about it more and more, I realize just how stupid I was for choosing someone like Dean over the only boy I have ever loved.

Jeremiah. With his soft blue eyes that had shown so much hurt and pain, I must have drowned a hundred times. His heartwarming grin that had seemed to be permanently turned upside down. His once loving face that now scrunched into hateful glares. I did that to him. To us.

I ruined everything.

And look where it got me. I'm on the ground as Dean towers over me intimidatingly. Long gone is the older boy who got me flowers during homecoming and asked me out politely. Standing in front of me is a monster I have learned to keep quiet in front of and just endure the pain.

He leans down and grabs my upper arm roughly, harshly pulling me up.

When I whimper, he gets in my face and sneers, "Shut the fuck up. And stop bringing up that stupid, good-for-nothing kid. Fuck him."

I stay quiet, even though all I want is to tell him no. Jeremiah is not stupid and he's not good for nothing. He's my best friend. Was.

"He isn't," I whisper before I can stop myself. The glare Dean sends me is deadly, and there's nothing soft about him now.

"What did you say, bitch?" He pushes me away from him and the side of my hip hits the sharp corner of the dresser. The pain shoots through me instantly, and I suddenly feel as if I can't breathe.

I fall to the ground and clutch my side, red seeping through my cream shirt and onto my palms. My sight gets fuzzy. I can feel a deep cut as I try to stop the blood. I want to leave Dean.

I can't.

"Shit, Dani," I barely hear him say as he kneels in front of me, examining the wound he caused. He lets out a tired sigh. "Now, look what you made me do." His voice is so gentle that it almost disguises his malicious intentions. I'm looking down in fear of what he'll do next, but he brings his fingers under my chin to lift my head. "Hey, it's okay. You're fine. It's just, you know how I get when you mention him. I just don't like sharing you because I love you so much. You know that, right?"

I nod. It was an accident. Of course, Dean hadn't meant to harm me. He has never meant for anything to actually bring me harm in any way. What was I thinking, thinking that I made the wrong decision choosing him over Jeremiah? It wasn't wrong. Dean is everything to me.

He's everything.

✧ ✦ ✧

I SNORT AT Adrian's mockery of this one couple who can't stop arguing. One of them keeps stepping on the other's toes and then blaming them. It's hilarious that one second they seem to actually despise each other and then the next they can't take their eyes off of the other.

My eyes spot Belly from across the room where she's dancing with Nicole. I offered for her to dance with Adrian, but she refused and said she didn't want me to be partnerless. I find it surprising that she still hasn't asked Cam to the deb ball yet. I know she still has feelings for Conrad and all, but leading Cam on isn't right. I'll have to talk to her about it later.