𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, jeremiah fisher

twenty. the smiles we share

I WAKE UP on the morning of the debutante ball with nerves filling my stomach. I didn't anticipate being this anxious about the day, but now that it's here, I can't stop my head from spinning.

I wake up a good two hours before I have to be up and lay in bed for a bit replaying the events of yesterday over and over.

Subconsciously, my hand raises and my fingers lightly trace my lips. I close my eyes and try to remember what it felt like to have Jeremiah's mouth pressed against mine, to feel his warm skin on me, his hand underneath my shirt, the soft sounds he let out lost in my mouth.

I groan and roll over onto my stomach, screaming into my pillow. We're going to have a lot to talk about.

I spend the next couple of hours watching YouTube and then get up to brush my teeth and shower. I get ready in record time and find myself once again laying in my bed. Just as I'm about to click on a video to watch, I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in!"

I turn and see Susannah walking in with a bright grin on her face. I instantly smile back.

"How's my girl doing?" she asks, sitting on the edge of my bed beside me.

"As good as I can be, I guess," I answer, scratching my neck.

"You nervous for today?"

I bring my knees to my chest. "Yeah, a little," I admit.

Susannah lifts her hand and runs it over the back of my head. "You're going to be amazing today." She says it without hesitation, with so much belief and trust in the words that I know she really means it. "Truly. You have grown into such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. I'm proud of you, Dani."

I nod and smile at her. "Thanks, Susannah."

Her hand reaches for mine and squeezes it. She looks down for a second before her eyes are back on mine, the blue strikingly familiar to someone I'm trying not to think about right now.

"Dani?" Her voice is a little hesitant.

"Hmm?"

"Are you and Jere friends again?" She sounds so hopeful that I think about saying yes just to not disappoint her. But I'll lie to every single person on this earth before I lie to her.

I stare down at my hands as I answer. "I'm not sure."

Because it's true. I don't know what we are. I don't know if he kissed me because he has feelings for me or because he was just filled with so much emotion that he needed to do something to show it.

I see Susannah nod once. "You know, I'm not too sure about what happened between you two, and I won't ask, but what I do know is that neither of you stopped caring for the other. Jeremiah will always have a special place for you in his heart, and I think you know that. Out of all the friends he's ever had, of all the girlfriends and boyfriends, you're the only one he has carved into his heart. You two are made for each other, and that is something that will always be a fact."

For a very long time after she says it, I ponder over her words. Even after she gives me a hug and leaves the room, I'm still thinking about it.

A few hours later, Adrian texts me and says that he's here to pick me up. As I head outside, I spot Jeremiah smiling down at Belly as they talk.

"Dani!" Belly waves over to me, and I smile as I wave back. "Are you heading over with Adrian?"

I feel Jeremiah's eyes on me, but I don't look up at him. I want to just get through the day and then deal with all our shit.