𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, jeremiah fisher

sixteen. nothing to lose

THE NEXT FEW days pass by in a blur.

I avoid Jeremiah at all costs. I spend almost all my time out at the beach or hanging out with Adrian and his friends. If I'm not outside, I'm in my room. At dinner, I ignore Jeremiah's heated stares and act as if nothing's wrong.

I have no fucking idea why I said what I did when he came out after me. If I could, I would erase that moment and make him forget what I said. It is because I know there is absolutely no way of him liking me back that I regret those words. If I had thought there was even the smallest chance that he felt the same way, I would have told him my feelings years ago.

I haven't talked to Belly either—not because I'm mad at her or anything, but because I don't want her to know how much it would hurt if she got with Jeremiah. If she knows I like Jeremiah, she won't go for him. I know she won't. And all I want is for her to happy. With Jeremiah, with Conrad, with whoever it is that she loves.

If that means avoiding her too to stop her from finding out about my true feelings, then so be it. I'll live with the pain. I'll suffer through. I just can't live with the guilt like I have for the past two years.

Today is the volleyball tournament, and I'm planning on meeting up with Adrian beforehand so that I can get out of the house before everyone else leaves. After putting on my black shorts, I get my lavender and white volleyball long-sleeved shirt that says 'Team Dani' on the back.

After making sure I have everything, I sigh and make my way to the door. I open it only to find two ocean eyes staring back at me. His fist is slightly raised as if he were just about to knock. I'm confused as we stand there staring at each other.

Before I can say anything or walk away, he opens his mouth.

"Can we talk?"

I suck in a breath. I really, really don't want to. Not right now at least.

"I have to go. Maybe later."

I start to walk out but his hand shoots out to grab my hand. I blink. He doesn't grab my wrist like he usually does. He grabs my hand. I feel his palm warm against mine, his long fingers extended out against mine. His thumb brushes against the outside of my hand as I turn back to look at him.

"What did you mean the other day?" he asks, staring into my eyes intensely.

"Jeremiah, look. I really do have to go. Adrian is waiting for me."

His eyes darken and there is a pinch between his brows. He doesn't say anything, though, and lets go of my hand. For a second, I'm confused at him letting go of the conversation so easily.

Then, I force myself to turn around and walk downstairs and outside to where Adrian is waiting.

✧ ✦ ✧

"UGH, I SUCK at volleyball," I groan.

Adrian and I are standing beside each other waiting for the tournament to start. Although I don't really care that much about winning, I still want to do well for Susannah.

"Tell me about it. My hand-eye coordination is the worst," Adrian adds, grimacing. "Couldn't this have just been a soccer match instead?"

"I wish. But let's try our best, okay? We can't be the worst ones here, right?"

He snickers in response. "I don't know about that." I roll my eyes and smack his chest with the back of my hand.

I spot Taylor from where I'm standing and smile. After telling Adrian I'll be right back, I walk over to where she's drinking from a bottle of water.