Things Don't Change

"ruined everything"

Y/n's POV 

By the time I got home, it was four in the morning. I just plopped down on my bed and tried to get some sleep. Around six in the morning, I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I was up but I stayed in bed for another two hours. I had no motivation to do anything and I think it was because of last night. 

When I finally got out of bed, I brushed my teeth and took off what little makeup was left on my face. 

I'm gonna break out  I thought to myself. 

After that, I changed my clothes and cooked myself breakfast. I felt so...unhappy. I wasn't angry or sad, I didn't really feel anything. As I was cooking eggs, I spaced out and burnt them so I ended up just drinking coffee that morning. Once my phone was charged, I saw a few messages.

Vera 

Hey, your boss gave me your number
I just wanted to make sure you got home safely

I did, thank you for reaching out

I lied to her because I'm pretty sure I was not allowed to tell anyone about what happened last night and I didn't want her to worry about me. I saw a message from Tim and I chose not to open it. I opened my mouth way too much last night and no response to him would be better. I called my boss to let him know that I wasn't showing up tonight. 

"Hey Donny, last night was pretty rough for me. I don't think I can show up today" I explained to him. "Oh it's fine Y/n, take as much time as you need. I think you've been overworking yourself" he said to me. "Maybe you're right, I'll try to get some rest" I said before hanging up. 

For the rest of the day, I just stayed in bed and did nothing. I got up to go to the bathroom once and I saw all the photos of Tim and I. I couldn't bare to look at them so I took them down and put them somewhere where I couldn't see them.

I knew hate was a strong word but it really described the way I felt about Tim right now. It wasn't betrayal, it was a huge lie and I feel like it ruined everything. I can't look at Tim the same anymore without thinking about the lie. It was a huge lie and my life changed so much because he didn't tell me the truth. Would I have stayed at home and gone to a regular high school? Would I be at college right now? Would Tim and I still be best friends?

As the day went on, I felt more and more like a piece of shit. My emotions were both all over the place and unable to be revealed. I've never felt like this in my life and I didn't know why I did now. 

Tim's POV 

"Heyyy Tim, how are you doing?" Dick came into my room with some Café Cubano. "I'm fine, I guess" I replied to him. "I heard about last night" Dick sat on my bed. "Did Bruce ask you to give me advice?" I asked Dick. "No...I came here myself, I actually wanted to give you some advice" he explained in his usual uplifting tone. "What's the point, I know for a fact she hates me" I said to him. 

"How do you know that?" he asked me. "She said she didn't care about me last night" I said to him. "She didn't mean that" Dick replied to me. "How do you know?" I asked. "I'm assuming she was pretty upset when she came here. Think about it, she was kidnapped last night and then she finds out that you've been lying to you for years. I'm pretty sure you'd be pissed too" Dick explained to me. "I wouldn't be pissed if I knew they were lying to protect me" I said to him. "It isn't always that easy. Y/n's been in Gotham for what? Four years, that means that she was on her own since she was fourteen" Dick explained. 

That really opened my eyes. I became Robin when I was thirteen, but I always had someone there for me. Y/n on the other hand, was living alone. Knowing her, she probably never took breaks and worked hard. 

"I should apologize to her" I said to Dick. "You should, just remember that you actions speak louder that your words" he reminded me. "I know, I know" I replied to him. "So you're good now?" he asked me. "I've always been good" I replied to him. "Oh really? Where's you coffee?" he asked me. 

I looked at the cup and it was empty. 

"When'd you drink that?" I asked him. 

He just shrugged. I rolled my eyes and then went to the kitchen to make more coffee. I thought of every way I could apologize to Y/n and the outcome of each apology. I knew for a fact she wasn't someone who would easily accept an apology. 

Men are so much easier than women  I thought to myself.

Y/n's POV 

I went to take a shower that night and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit and I needed to take care of myself. As I got into the shower, I started crying for some reason. It felt like I was reliving an old memory. It was like this happened before- no it did happen, I just don't remember when I felt like this. And then it hit me, I felt like this when Tim first left. As much as I 'hated' him right now. I couldn't hate him forever. He was special to me and I was slowly losing him. He told me how he felt last night and I pushed him away out of frustration. I wish I could take back what I said, but shots were already fired and I couldn't turn back time no matter how hard I tried.