a heavenly way to die (a time to be alive)

5th

"I must say, this is rather unusual." Taeyeon murmured.

They were in Hyunjung's room, and Taeyeon's small, pale hands were wrapped around a mug. Hyunjung sighed from where she was leaning against the desk and rubbed her face with her hands. The night sky sparkled with stars, but Hyunjung's insides felt dark. She didn't respond to the statement, and stared down at the patterns on her desk with tired eyes.

The display of vulnerability from Hyunjung must be strange for Taeyeon. When Hyunjung called her late at night, her voice almost trembling, what had Taeyeon's expression been like? What had she thought as she drove from her library to the hotel? Taeyeon hasn't seen her cry since she was a child, because it was rare for Hyunjung to show emotion this easily. Still, she felt her hands shake.

"You look exhausted, Hyunjung." Taeyeon continued, "Is something wrong?"

A complicated question, Hyunjung thought, and let out a strangled laugh.

"Nothing's wrong." She answered.

"This hunt is taking you much longer than usual." Taeyeon said slowly, "What exactly are you struggling with?"

She was struggling with her pulse, an eager traitor that kept running away with itself. She was struggling with her nightmares, all of them filled with bloodstained Jiyeon. She was struggling with the disappointment when she turned a corner and Jiyeon wasn't there, equal parts desperate to see her and desperate to run from her.

"Kim Jiyeon is a complex case." Hyunjung muttered.

"It's not often I hear that from you." Taeyeon said, perching on the edge of the bed. Hyunjung hung her head. "What's so complicated about this one?"

Taeyeon's clear voice and her sparkling eyes reminded Hyunjung of younger days. The memory of being mentored by her and taught over the years relaxed Hyunjung just a little, and she let out a breath.

"You were right, as always. Kim Jiyeon got into my head just like you said she would."

The silence was damning.

"Well, rather," Hyunjung closed her eyes, "I let her get into my head. I was fooled by her, completely."

"Oh, Hyunjung. It happens to the best of us—"

"Not to me." Hyunjung said. Her voice was soft. "I wanted to believe her, when she said— she said that we were the same. Perhaps I wanted to think that there was a world where vampires and humans were not so dissimilar after all. For a moment I considered the possibility that the death of my mother was more of an isolated case. I thought that she—"

Hyunjung swallowed. She didn't deserve the kindness in Taeyeon's eyes.

"Hyunjung, forgive me for asking, but why has Kim Jiyeon affected you this much?"

Because I—

"I've never seen you like this before." Taeyeon said. She reached forward to touch Hyunjung's hands. "You can be truthful with me, you know you can. What's really going on?"

"Don't ask me that." Hyunjung pulled her hands away, "I'm unsure what's going on myself. All I know is that I'm in great danger of losing."

"Well," Taeyeon drawled, her eyes twinkling under the room's florescent light, "I never thought I'd hear that from you. I'll be honest, Hyunjung, I knew that Kim Jiyeon definitely drove away a few hunters, but I never expected she'd be this difficult for you. I want to meet the vampire that's rattled you this much. You seem to have met your match."