Crushed Paper Cranes

two

a/n ~ 1k words less than the last chapter, I know, but hey - early update! (not that it has anything to do with having less words because I prewrote the entire story. But you have two chapters in the span of two days. That's good. For my weird updating anyway)

Alazne Vyne
~

de⋅spair
/də'sper/

noun
the complete loss or absence of hope.

Why is this so hard? My heart beats too loudly in my chest and I force a breath through my lips. I cover my mouth with my hand. What's happening to me?

"Alazne?"

Alazne means miracle in Spanish. It also means sorrel, which is a dock leaf. Life doesn't make sense, I know. "Yeah?" I wipe my eyes and stand up quickly.

"Are you in here?" Quinn pops their head into the library, and when they notice me, their eyes soften and they slowly step closer. As if approaching a wild animal. As if I'm made of glass. Spoiler alert - I'm not. But I don't mind.. "Are you coming?"

"Where?"

Quinn falters for a second before they swallow hard. "The grave. We're doing it today."

"Today?"

Quinn smiles gently. "Are you ready?"

My expression must look pained because they immediately walk over to me and brush a tear from under my eye.

"Look at me. Alazne. Look." They wait until I look up, and I stare into their rich lapis eyes. Their eyes shift from brown to blue in the light. "I'm here, okay? You're safe." They begin humming a song I can't recognise, walking around me to start braiding my hair. I can't, I can't, I can't. "I love you," they whisper, their fingers in my hair calming me. "I've got you." They finish my hair, then capture me in a hug.

I turn around and hug them back. I don't deserve a sibling as amazing as Quinn.

"Get dressed," Quinn tells me, squeezing my hand reassuringly. "I'll be waiting."

I run upstairs and get dressed in more formal attire quickly, feeling my heart pounding with a hand against my chest.

Quinn is wearing a grey sweater and black pants when I run down to them. Their short brown hair is styled with a perfect flair I could never manage. A pained smile decorates their face. "Are you ready?" they ask.

I can't bring myself to speak, so I nod, my stomach twisting.

Quinn gently brushes a strand of dark amber hair out of my eyes. An unspoken promise passes through us again. Never let go. They grab my hand and we head to the car, thoughts pounding around in my mind.

We don't exchange any words throughout the entire car drive, staying in a pained silence. Quinn's playing Live Your Life - Nick Cordero sung by Lenii, and it fills the car with an anxious tension. I close my eyes as my heart throbs and my eyes sting.

"We're here," Quinn says, hopping out of the car. I can tell they're doing their best not to reveal how out of it they are. They hold my hand with a death grip as we walk around the car and onto the grass.

The amount of graves we pass make my stomach twist, and everything seems fuzzy. I shake it off, and quickly match Quinn's pace as we walk deeper into the cemetery.

Quinn places a hand gently on my back as we near the pit in the ground. A couple people are already gathered around it, and they begin to rub my back as I feel tears come to my eyes again. I can't, I can't, I can't.