Life After You

Chapter 16

"That's the problem here. I should've thought first...I should've listened to you when you told me you'd be this way.. That would've saved so much of a disaster..." Daddy says walking away from mummy after probably the thousandth fight this week.

"That's why I'm trying to get divorced. Once you give me my money, I'll leave and poof, no more disasters George!" she says and I almost gasp. My dad doesn't even look surprised, like it's not the first time he's heard mummy bringing up getting divorced. I look at him, trying to find answers, I don't even know what to find but he just gives me a blank expression.

"Divorce?" My voice cracks as I approach my dad when mom isn't in earshot.

"Isabelle-"

"No, just please answer me honestly." I plead. "Do you want to get divorced?" I ask him plainly not ready for his answer.

"She wants it. I don't know what I want. You know I would never want that for both of you. I don't want us to be apart.. If that's what she wants, I won't stop her..." he tells me just as a tear falls on my cheek. I wipe it away and just nod, speechless.

Selfishly, I don't want to say anything because I'm terrified. I'm terrified if I do say something it'll get worse and I don't want anything to get worse than this because I already feel parts of my body starting to break and something beyond this would completely shatter me...

I do realise I'm being self centred, but how else do you react when your parents are considering divorcing each other?

Pretending to be okay and just going with it is out of the question.

"That's a nice song yeah" I smile as I agree, applying butter on the slices of bread.

"Play Ariana Grande's song" my mum says, more like demands but I laugh it off and do as she says.

"This one? No tears left to cry right?" I play the song on my tab, setting it away from the appliances so food wouldn't get splashed on it as I make toast bread.

The evening so far has been alright compared to the past days. Mummy's been calm and quite happy. At least she looks like she is. I have no idea what has changed or that maybe she is getting back to her normal self. I'm forcing myself to not just have false hope about the second one, because it sucks. Waiting for mummy to get back to her normal-self. But tonight she is happy, playing music, dancing too, in the middle of the kitchen as I butter up the bread and toast them whilst making scrambled eggs.

Dinner goes by good. Mostly silent really but that is better than how the past days have been.

Little did I know, that didn't last too long as I thought it would.

"Mummy you have to take the medicine...please don't make this hard" I take very small steps close to her.

"Who are you to give me that shit? Now he's putting you up to give me medication?" she spits, making me bite my lip so hard, I can tell it's already starting to bleed.

"Nobody, but as your daughter, I want you to get better so please trust me on this" I say as softly as possible.

"Trust you? Do you know what you're saying Isabelle? Can't you see he's brainwashed you too?" She raises her voice, making me almost drop the glass of water. "Why the hell do I need medication huh? Look at me. Look at what those stupid, stupid drugs are doing to me" she gestures towarsd her body.

"I'm sorry mummy..."

"Those things are killing me everyday! They keep weakening me!"

"Catrina, we're not purposely doing this. Please darling, trust us on this." Daddy cuts in.

"Trust you?" she flares up again, making me leave the pills and the glass water on the table and walk to my room, closing the door behind me letting them deal with figuring out a way to give the medicine.

"Oh gosh" I sigh as I sink onto the bed next to Merebelle who has her earphones on. "Can we watch a movie?" I ask her after tapping on her shoulder.

"Okay." She agrees and gets daddy's computer and sets it up on the bed. "Should we continue watching Riverdale maybe?"

"Yeah, we should" I agree, laying on my stomach with my legs in the air. She sits similarly and presses 'play' just when the website loads.

"Gosh I don't know what to expect in season six" I mumble. She hums in response as the first episode starts playing.

Me and Merebelle have been watching Riverdale for months. We had to stop in between though when exams and assignments kept coming up but in between on long weekends mostly and times like these whenever we remember, we just put it up and binge-watch so many episodes until we get tired late in the night. That's literally one of the ways we cope when things at home are going rough.

I've realised when sometimes talking about your pain doesn't work. Trying other ways, especially with someone going through the same thing, helps. It's also the best memories you have with your siblings. Times where you put the music all the way up and sing your lungs out with, watch funny YouTube shorts or scrolling through Instagram videos on your feed, talking about things that have nothing to do with what's happening.

"Oh my gosh it's raining so bad- I don't want to shower tonight!" Merebelle squeals, jumping on the bed. I fake-gag, she rolls her eyes while turning on the fan and getting under the covers.

"You little pig" I mutter as I turn to face her. She giggles, making me laugh.

"Want to cuddle?" she asks suddenly.

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"Want to cuddle?" she repeats.

"Of course" I don't know why I feel emotional right now-that's just the sweetest thing ever!

"So, have you had any dreams of anyone lately?" she asks, making me laugh.

"I'll tell you but only if you tell me too" I come up with. She smirks.

"Fine." She mumbles. I mentally scream in victory.

"I'll go first." I start. "I'm not going to lie okay, I've had this guy in my dreams for about a month now. I keep playing our conversations or come up with my own conversations I wish I had with him in my head. It's dumb, pathetic really..."

"You like him, don't you?" she says for me. I just smile, answering her silently.

"It's crazy really. How can you like someone so fast?" I ask no one in particular.

"It's possible. The best relationships are like that. You know when you know..something like that" she says and I laugh at how cute that sounded and coming from her.

"Since when did you start looking up relationship advice?" I laugh. She laughs too.

"You know when you know" she repeats her words.

"I miss him" I finally admit, feeling embarrassed.

"You'll see him soon" she assures, as she plants a kiss on my temple and yawns. I smile.

"Good night Merebelle" I kiss her forehead and let sleep take over my very much sleep-deprived body.