Life After You

Chapter 19

"Thanks" I give the cab driver a small smile before paying him and grabbing my duffel bag, throwing it over my shoulder and making my way towards the apartment building at exactly 2:57 in the morning.

I walk through the entrance doors and towards the lift where I drop my duffel bag on the floor of the lift after pressing the floor button and letting out the loudest most exhausted sigh I have ever exhaled.

The lift dings, letting me know about reaching my floor. I sigh again tiredly before dragging my duffel bag all the way to my door, collapsing right next to the door on the floor.

Reached safely. Have a good day daddy. Miss you!

I sent the text to daddy before tossing my phone next to the duffel bag, too tired to be bothered to put it inside instead. I don't think I was able to do anything besides just lie there on the floor staring into thin air and very slowly drifting to deep slumber.

-

The first thing I notice when my eyes finally open is that I'm on my bed when I clearly remember I ended up on the floor next to my door. Or was that a crazy dream?

I turn towards the corner of my room to see my duffel bag by the side of my dresser and my phone resting on my dresser.

Confused, I get out of bed seeing I'm in the same jeans and t-shirt I was in yesterday, well this morning as I walk to the living room stopping in my tracks.

You've got to be kidding me right now!

There, on the sofa is Jeremiah lying peacefully, his feet dangling at the edge of the sofa, making me smile at the sight. I grab my blanket from my bed and cover him with it before going to the kitchen to make coffee.

I didn't even notice the tear drops on the counter while boiling the water on the kettle after seeing him asleep on my sofa. Was he the one who got me to bed? Was he there the entire time?

I grab two mugs, wash them and set them on the counter just when I feel his presence in the room, halting my actions.

"Hey" he says, softly. It took everything in me not to let the new tears forming to let go by just hearing his voice. It feels like ages since I last heard his voice when it was only about two weeks ago or so. I don't turn away because I don't think I can, knowing I'll have to face him.

"Hey" I say quietly, still not facing him but now pouring the boiled water in the jug I put two and half spoons of coffee powder in.

I hate that it's awkward when it shouldn't be. There's no reason for things to be awkward. Nothing happened. Nothing between us, at least.

"I'm sorry-I-don't mean to be awkward.." I say, just above a whisper, finally turning around to face him. Luckily, my tears are cooperating right now because not a single one fell even though I felt it forming in my eyes.

"Don't be," he smiled softly, walking closer. He shouldn't have done that. "You cut your hair?" he asks, gesturing at my now short hair.

"Yeah" I smile, slightly embarrassed, running my fingers in my short hair.

"It looks nice," he compliments. I didn't think I'd even get a compliment on it because I didn't get my hair done in a salon or by a professional. I cut my hair all by myself. Alone in the bathroom late at night, my face soaked with tears is how I cut my hair.

"You don't have to...I know it doesn't look nice.." I mumbled, taking a seat on one of the stools, hugging the coffee mug with my palms.

"Isabelle, it does look nice." he says looking straight at me. "Why wouldn't you let me compliment you?" he smiles, the familiar cheekiness making an appearance. I smile to myself.

"I did it." I say this for the first time. "I cut my hair" I say, being clear.

He stays silent for about ten seconds until he says,

"I like it."

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I just do," he says.

"I missed you" I whisper the locked up truth. I feel like an idiot for admitting it in front of him-

"Isabelle" he says, pulling me to him in his embrace, the one I've wanted so much for the past two weeks. God, I've missed him so much. "I missed you too" He answers me, kissing my forehead making me freeze at the contact. "I never got to go shopping for the apartment." he says in my hair. I pull away slightly, not fully though.

"What do you mean?" I ask but then slowly understand just by the way he's looking at me. "You..waited..for..me?" I whisper in disbelief. He nods, smiling. "Why?" I ask, wondering why he couldn't just do the shopping himself.

"Why? I didn't want to go without you. So I waited." he says quietly, tears pooling in my eyes, ready to fall anytime now.

"Jeremiah.." I exhaled, hugging him. I didn't know what to think about what he said. I wonder what he would have done if I never got to come back to London. What if I had to stay in San Diego for much longer?

"Why didn't you call or do anything to reach me?" He whispered just as the first tears made their way down my cheeks and to his shoulder.

"I wanted to. So many times. I just-I didn't know what to say.. I was scared. I didn't want to-"

"Please don't say 'bother you'" he says the two words I was just about to say. "Isabelle, how many times have I told you that you're not a bother?" I cry on his shoulder, holding him tighter.

I don't think I've ever needed someone so much but now just by being in his arms. I've always made myself, or rather, forced myself to believe that needing someone is a weakness. Again, I was and am wrong.