The Tale of Dragons and Dungeons

Chapter 5: Back to Crossdraugr

"Bound Sword!" Oznerol casted a spell that conjured up a sword made of fire, cutting through crowds of undead and catching a couple skulls to add to his and Blader's collection, as he recognized some of the skeletons to be famous heroes met with an unfortunate fate. Stella and Lightning Heart were back to back, fighting 2 individual armies of skeletons and giant ants. Gene was burying Fetid Rats and their flies alive with his skills. Naunia had found a Great Bow and was fighting off a troll. Lani was throwing knives at the troll which were being lodged in his thick skin. Oznerol cut through the entire crowd of undead, breaking their bodies apart and immolating their bones. Lightning Heart made a quick pounce forward, cut off several ants' heads, and turned skeletons to dust in one clean sweep of her blade. Stella charged into her end and chopped the rest of the ants in half, running through them and swinging her blade in complex strikes as to slice all major organs and thoroughly cut the ant. Gene managed to suffocate all of the rats in the room with his dirt conjuring. Naunia pulled an arrow back and sent it flying, dealing a mortal wound to the troll and cutting into it's neck. The troll stumbled back and grasped it's neck, trying to stop the bleeding. Lani took her chance and threw a knife, watching as it swung through the air into the soft flesh of the troll's wound. The troll fell down with a satisfying quake and they realized that they'd taken down all monsters in the room. They took a nap.

While they were sleeping, a single undead walks in, the party having been too ignorant to make sure they had re-killed the undead and everything else in the room. The undead walks up to Gene, and pulls his own weapon from his pocket, and before anyone was able to react, the undead stabs Gene in the gut, putting him in a "gut busting" situation. Stella wakes up and throws Oznerol's pickaxe at the undead's skull, breaking it. Oznerol wakes up, and sees what has happened. "Stella, what happened?! I wanted that skull for my collection! It won't fit with the others if it's broken!" Lightning Heart revealed herself to have been awake since the incident and stated "Do you even see Gene's stomach acids leaking out?" "Ohhh. Oops." Oznerol said. "Well, I can fix that. We just need to cauterize it". "No, no, no no NO NO NO!! YOU ARE NOT GONNA EXPLODE MY STOMACH!!" Gene yelled out. Oznerol turns his sword into a plain old fireball and sends it into his stomach. It patches up his stomach, but it immolated the skin around it, and a lot of his blood and nerves, causing extreme pain and lethargy. So basically, Oznerol exploded Gene's stomach. They moved on, with Lightning Heart turning into a chinese torture chamber without a lid, so Gene could sit inside of it and rest his wounds...ish. And guess who has to carry the 1000lb gigantic foreign thing. At least he builds muscle from this. Eventually, they reached Crossdraugr again, when Naunia asked "Do you even remember where this cave is?" Everyone else simultaneously said "Nope". While everyone else began to blow the whole place up (again), Naunia whispers under her breath "nitwits" Eventually, Lightning Heart re-unearths the cave. They walk in, attempting to avoid the jagged stalagmites that were formed by it's re-re-opening. Suddenly, things began to shake, and the ceiling, if you can call it that, begins to look like it is moving. The room began to separate the group into parties of one, placing a large maze between the party. Around Oznerol there is a treasure chest, and a large amount of moss covering a wall. He is trapped in the room with no visible means of escape. There is also a random toilet in the room. Inside it is a bunch of poop, and syringes. The syringes are filled with MORE POOP. Around Naunia there is a box and three doors. One door has a puddle and a dismantled skeleton near it. Another has teeth near it. And the last door is normal. The box is covered in splatters of what appears to be ink. Around Stella is a door with an ominous aura surrounding it, a small red chest with an eye on it, and on the walls there are letters from a strange language. A couple of the letters are glowing. Around Gene is a long hallway and walls forcing him to walk down said hallway. Around Lightning Heart is a door with a doggy door, a small pit, and a thorn plant. Around Lani is a pool of water, a door covered in blood, and a plant covered trapdoor. Oznerol decides to open the treasure chest, he looks in. It's deeper than he originally thought, so he has to reach in to the farthest extent of his arm. His hand finally touches something and he pulls it up with all his might, revealing a sword. "Well...I guess I could use an actual weapon besides magic... I think I'll call you Caliburn." He also found a ring inside of the chest. He put it on and felt  the magical energy flowing through him. Oznerol grinned and looked around the room once more. He withdraws the blade and slices the treasure chest with it. It splits in half like a hot knife through butter. He then attempts to slice through the wall but his blade is deflected off of the strong dungeon brick wall. He instead uses it to slice the toilet, but no dice. Then he got an idiotic idea. He jumped into the air, and stabs his blade into the toilet. Everything in the room explodes except for Oznerol and his stuff. The explosion revealed that the moss was hiding a door. Oznerol enters the door, revealing a room bigger than that with the exact same stuff, except the treasure chest was empty. Oznerol repeats what he did earlier and enter the door. He finds a short dude with a bad sense of clothing. He tells Oznerol his name is Dedrater and he got trapped here for an attempt to find the panacea. He tells the adventurer that the cave itself can speak, and it called him retarded, which sounded very familiar to him. Oznerol could make a few guesses why, because there was nothing bounding him to where he was. They move on. Stella decides to go into the door that is glowing. What she finds was something similar to Oznerol, but she kept on doing it, and kept running into the same room over and over and over again. Eventually she wised up and just decided to open up the chest. What she found was a swollen, disembodied eye, identical to the one on the front on the chest, except it's in 3-D. It also had a telescope-like object on the back of it, in which she looked, which revealed what was behind any way or door, unless it contained magical properties more powerful than itself. She also found a necronomicon and decided to save it for later. She found that there was another door behind the treasure chest, and went into it, running into Lani, who was fighting back some Linkospians. "I thought Oznerol murdered all of those things!" and she ran back into the corner, in fear of slimy things. Lani threw 64 knives skillfully-and 48 of them missed, only 16 of them hit their mark of the Linkospians' brains. The Linkospians began melting down until they were nothing but slime. "Well that's new, when did that start happening to those things?" Stella asked, and Lani shrugged. "Mutation? They did get hit pretty hard by that explosion." Both sighed and began exploring again, walking through the next door. All of the people in the group were moving through and fighting things until eventually they made it to the final battle royale. There was a loud blow of a horn as a hooded figure entered the room all of the group (excluding Blader of course) had entered. "Greetings travelers! You have fought bravely against the trials of this dungeon and now find yourself in it's final room!" They looked around. There was a sealed treasure chest with a large golden lock on it. "I hold the key to unlock the chest! Inside is the Panacea! Fight eachother for the key!" Oznerol looked at him. "What if we don't wanna?" "TOO BAD!" Oznerol took his new blade and struck him, but ended up being stopped by a barrier of fire. "Ahahaha! Fool! I have a flaming shield, no magic or blade can penetrate it!" Oznerol smiled. "I have Control of Fire." He snapped his fingers and the barrier enclosed upon the hooded figure, burning the cloak that he wore and even burning through the skin. The Bone Key that dropped from him was what Oznerol had been after. He grabbed it and moved over to the treasure chest. He stuck the key in and unlocked it, revealing the golden potion inside it. "Now, does ANYONE remember the way back?"