The Boy Who Cried Suicide (L.S)

Chapter Fourteen

It was hard for Louis to understand why Harry wanted to see James. Every time the name was mentioned, Louis practically cringed and wanted to take his friend of metal and slice his wrists. But, only for Harry. He just cuts for Harry, is all. To get more attention and to make him not think about James.

James is a jerk, that's for sure. Using Harry for popularity and to be at the top of the school's social status is low. Who even likes to be popular? It's obvious Harry doesn't like it and Louis may love attention, but not by a lot of people. Only by the ones who he loves.

Speaking of, he really does miss Niall. Which is why he invited him over later in the day after Harry leaves. Of course, Niall said yes despite him and Louis having some tension. He didn't want to come over, Louis could tell, but he's really good at convincing people to do things for him.

Right now, Louis was leaning against Harry and snuggling into his side casually. Harry loves cuddling, so he didn't mind. And the warmth of Louis' body felt nice against his as they practiced spanish. Apparently James has a big mouth and was very loud about how stupid Louis is. It made him upset, but he didn't show it strangely. He actually tried hiding his sadness, but Harry saw and so now they're practicing speaking.

Honestly, Louis isn't faking it. He can't remember anything because, well, he wasn't paying attention in class. So, Harry had to basically teach him how to tell time in Spanish. Which isn't fun, but luckily Harry is very patient and a super calm person. Louis isn't, though.

Which led to him trying his best not to cry. He was that frustrated. Unlike some people, when he's angry at himself, he cries because that's how he lets out his emotions. Sometimes he could scream in his pillow. But, if he did that then he would look crazy.

Luckily, they're home alone and so Harry just comforted him as he tried holding back his tears. Louis didn't know what was going on. He's so annoyed with himself. Constantly trying to smack himself in hopes that he wouldn't be so frustrating but it wasn't working. He wanted to break something.

He just wanted to punch a wall, to throw a glass or to smack someone. His parents hid his mirror, though. Considering his last incident which broke his mirror, he wasn't allowed to have anything too fragile. They were really overreacting. He isn't out of control, he can handle his anger if he could just break something.

Once he calmed himself down, Harry was rubbing his back and giving him a proud smile. Usually that would annoy Louis because he doesn't need someone to be proud of him. However, this was Harry. And so that smile made him grin and everything was better.

They soon went over the media and when to use it. Which is just for when to say 'a half an hour' in a way. At least Louis could remember that, he was hoping. Because if he doesn't, then he'll definitely fail. He doesn't really care anymore, though. Because Harry's here, in his room and helping him with his work when he could be out on a longer date then he planned.

There was a time when his crush was small. And now, Louis realizes that it's grown more and more. He was in love with Harry and all he needed to do was ruin the date with James. Then he could slip in and take the chance to date Harry, be with him and James wouldn't be in the picture.

It was perfect.

It was everything he wanted and could dream of. To hold Harry's hand for longer than five seconds, to kiss his pretty pink lips and to hold him, hug him, spoon him- fuck him, in all honesty. The thought of being in bed with Harry made Louis hold back a smirk, tapping his finger to calm down.

He glanced at Harry, smiling at the way his curls framed his face perfectly. How those lips pursed as he read over the packet of vocabulary words. His eyes were squinted a bit and wow, he's beautiful. Louis could just stare at him for hours, never stopping and never getting bored.