The Boy Who Cried Suicide (L.S)

Chapter Nineteen

His parents were suspecting something was going on. Louis was panicking so much lately. He's been worried someone will know he's lying or that Niall will tell someone. Every time his parents enter his room, he feels as though they will look at him and say 'we know' and that scares him.

Louis rarely ever gets scared, but this was frightening. Sitting at the dinner table, tugging his sleeves over his hand as if that will hide his arm anymore. Seeing his sisters give him these pitiful expressions, though being so young and not completely understanding what was happening.

He wanted so badly to just scream 'I faked it, okay?' but he also wanted to keep it a secret longer. To never let anyone know even if Niall already does. How the fear of being placed in a mental asylum or forced to go to therapy was going to tear him away from Harry.

Ever since the funeral, Harry's still been upset. Louis isn't mad at that, because he has a reason to be sad and it was all Louis' fault for being such a bitch. All he wanted was to love and be loved by Harry, and this led to a girl committing suicide and Harry being in tears everyday.

It was a sad sight and yet, Louis loved it. Considering Harry's a cuddly person when upset, he was constantly calling Louis and wanting his attention. Roles were basically flipped and Louis was the one holding Harry, pressing kisses to his forehead and secretly smiling at the way Harry would bury his face in the crook of his neck.

He was starting to hate himself. Why is he so crazy? He likes that the guy he loves is depressed? Louis was so confused with himself. He shouldn't like that, but the way Harry cried seemed so beautiful and the way he clung to Louis made the boy never want to let him go and to hold him forever with Harry always being upset.

There's something wrong with him, he's sick in the head or something. But, Louis didn't want to believe that. He just kept telling himself it was normal. Because, hopefully it was and he can continuously believe this till the day he and Harry start dating officially.

They don't talk about the kiss or the fact that they admitted their feelings. Louis was respectful enough to let Harry deal with his mourning. He won't make Harry date him, he wants it to be real and for Harry to want to be with him. Not feel obligated to date the boy.

But, they still kiss sometimes. It's small and they never make out or anything, but Harry would peck his lips softly when they cuddle and Louis would kiss him goodbye. It was like a dream come true and Louis couldn't have asked for it any better. Aside from the fact that Nicole died, he would never wish for that.

Despite hating her to no end and envying her affection with Harry, Louis would never want a person to die. You know, unless they hurt Hary. Like, how James is still trying to get in the boy's pants. He would wanna shove him in a volcano, but he still wouldn't try to kill him or wish he commited suicide. At least, not on purpose.

Either way, Louis was still longing for Harry and luckily, it was Sunday and Louis received a text. Harry wanted to come over and Louis grinned, shoving his notebook under his pillow as he replied for him to do so. When Harry told him he's on his way, Louis eagerly got ready.

He checked around his room to make sure the whole room was neat and tidy. He fixed up his floor, stuffing everything under his bed and cleared off his desk and dresser. Usually, Louis can be a considerably neat person. But, when it comes to it, recently he's been careless about everything.

Instead of thinking too far into that, he just checked himself out in the mirror. His bare body was skinner and arms had a decent amount of muscles. He's lost weight since he stopped eating as much and he smiled. Because, he reached his goal and now he didn't have a tummy, but instead a flat stomach.