The Soldier and The Spy: Tess Danvers- Episode 4

Chapter 1

Present Day

When the fear takes you down, When the doubt takes you under, When you sink like a stone and you can't breathe, When the tears take control, When the demons take over, Won't be in this alone, You got me...

Tess didn't know what woke her first, the music slowly and softly filling her bedroom or the warm body atop hers that kept nestling closer, stealing her breath with the most delightful press of weight.

She had never been the biggest fan of mornings and usually alternated between getting up and leaving the house within twenty minutes or sleeping in as late as she could and not leaving at all, at least not unless something of interest called her out. The enthusiasm with which she started each day though was something that varied, especially in the last five years. On her worst days she'd straight-up refuse to get out of bed, tending to her basic needs notwithstanding but even at her lowest those had been few and far between; she'd never been good at being idle and with her skill set there was always something she could find to do. For most of that time she had alternated between a begrudging acceptance that a new day had come and an anxious desire to finish it and be onto the next. It was only in the last few years that she'd remembered what it was like to wake up and be excited, be hopeful, and only in the last two that there'd been any real kind of security that she would get that next day. So the last month?

Waking up not just alive, not just safe but happy?

Consistently happy and consistently not alone?

With Jay at her side?

Even on those nights she snuck onto the deck or into the sunroom overcome with the need to breathe he was always there when she woke, wrapped around her like a literal shield against the demons that plagued her. And that... that was a feeling Tess had longed for. A feeling she had resigned herself to never experiencing again and it was even more powerful now she knew what it was like not to have his arms to turn to.

"Why did you have to make it do that?"

She held back a laugh at the petulance in his voice, aimed not at the music but the vibrations she'd added to make sure she didn't sleep through it, then pressed a gentle kiss to his hair, savouring its softness as she ran her fingers through it. "Because if I didn't it wouldn't wake me up- it would just provide an epic soundtrack to whatever I happened to be dreaming about."

He grumbled and let out a heavy sigh that fanned across her neck, where his head was currently burrowed, taking several long, deep breaths that gave the distinct impression he was breathing her in, his hands kneading her sides like a disgruntled puppy before he grumbled again and quickly pushed himself out from under the covers.

Jay was most definitely a morning person.

Up with the sun most days, though he did enjoy a good lazy snuggle, but any more than thirty minutes in bed and he started to physically twitch with the need to do something. On the days he worked his efforts to not wake her were so earnest Tess didn't have the heart to tell him she was up the moment he moved from his place beside her- she had never been the deepest sleeper, not counting when her body decided to claim what she'd denied it but now that was even more true. Too many nights expecting an attack, and getting one, had left her more frazzled than she'd realized when she'd first come home but she was working on it.

It would take time, but that was the one thing she was determined to give herself.

Just not this morning.

"You know you don't have to get up just because I am."

"I know." She replied with a yawn, grinning when his eyes fell to her chest as she sat up and started to stretch. Show a man a pair of boobs and he went right back to being a teenage boy. Although as she took in the sculpted planes of his chest she couldn't help her own girlish urge to giggle, especially when he caught her looking and grinned back at her, flexing his biceps as he pulled his jeans on.

Goddamn he was one good-looking man.

Hergood-looking man.

"So what's the deal? You don't usually get up until at least ten. You got plans?"

"Maybe."

Actually, yes.

She'd been running them over in her mind for the past week, wanting to wait until she had a better idea how to proceed before she brought them up. Which she had planned on doing last night but then he'd gotten home late and tired and she'd offered to give him a massage and then one thing had led to another.... Tess didn't want to spring this on him first thing in the morning, especially when he had to rush off to work but she didn't want to keep putting it off either. And the way his eyes squinted as he looked her over told her she'd been silent for long enough that he'd started to put it together anyway. At least that there was something on her mind, and it wasn't like she was going to make him guess.

"I thought it might be time to introduce myself to CPD's new deputy superintendent."

Well, whatever Jay might've thought she was going to say it clearly hadn't been that.

He stilled, the shirt he'd been about to tug over his head left dangling between his fingers, his face almost comically frozen as he blinked at her. Almost, because she was too concerned with his reaction to find much humor in the situation. For a solid minute he just stood like that, no doubt running through all the scenarios she had, all the pros and cons until he let out a heavy sigh, not as resigned as she'd expected, more... weary.

But the way he looked at her?

His mossy eyes were alight with hope and the strength in his grip as he sat beside her and took her hand spoke of nothing but trust.

"I think that if there is anything you can and want to do, then you should do it. I trust you."

Tess felt her heart swell and her cheeks flush, he was so good at that, then gave him a quick kiss in appreciation. "Thank you. I appreciate it. However I do feel the need to point out that I have gotten a lot more diplomatic in my old age so I promise it won't be anything quite as... extreme as you may have seen in the past."

He held back a snort, just barely, his lips tilting up into a pleased smirk. "I wouldn't care if it was. I like seeing you take charge."

He did.

Now she just had to see how Deputy Miller liked it.