collections

meaningless meaningful

unfinished. 

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I murmured silently. Sa lahat ng pwedeng itabi bakit sa kanya pa? Like you can pair me with Jovanni or Maria? Bakit si Sanjo pa?

We may have something in the past but that didn't work. I mean it was push and pull and we haven't talk for like over a year? Ni-closure wala!

Damn my heart is in trouble!

"Act like you don't care

Act like you don't care

Act like you don't care"

paulit-ulit kong saad sa isip ko bago tuluyang ilapag ang bag sa tabi niya. He glared at me and I look away.

Bakit ganyan siya makatingin? Hindi ko kasalanan na ako ang tinabi sa kanya sisihin niya ang letcheng surname niya! Bakit ba kasi magkasunod ang unang letra ng last name naming dalawa? Can't letter T go away or better removed?

I looked at the other end of the classroom and saw my bestfriend laughing. Shit ka! I glared at her at mukhang napansin rin ni Jo dahil tinginan niya si Stephanie. This is getting awkward every minute...

Mas lalo akong nainis when I saw the look in his way. He is disgust and why is that? Nagtaas ako ng kilay at hindi napigilang magsalita. "If you don't want me her better tell sir Cyro to change our seat or better move in a different section," that's how you do it gurl.

He rolled his eyes and murmured, "immature." fuck him. I glared at hindi na kumibo, I don't want to talk any further, I hate his voice. I hate him.

flashbacks... really? ngayon pa

If only he talked, if only he gave me a proper goodbye then this will be a lot easier for the both of us. ugh.

"so how was the--

"don't start Claire," I glared that made all the girls laugh. I rolled my eyes and as soon as I bite my burger I saw Jo walking over the canteen. Napaisip ko, what did I see in this guy? He is gwapo but other than that? wala na siyang good traits.

He don't take his studies seriously he only wants to play for like 24/7. Pwede sana kung sports like basketball sepak or volleyball but he plays online games! A huge turn off.

"make kwento come on, ang boring ng buhay ko."

"do I look like a clown?" laughs all over the table. Sometimes I really hate my friends.

"hindi naman, medyo lang." I glared.

"anyways are you g?" the party gurl jessica started. I hate it when she started to open that mouth of hers paniguradong ubos na naman ang pera ko. Shopping? Nah.

"kung inom yan, pass." ani ng relehyiso naming kaibigan, Esperanza.

"uh.. honey nah uh!" may kasabay pa iyong pitik ng kamay. That's new, I thought.

"May ka talking stage kasi ako right now and we planned to meet tomorrow and I need support AND don't worry you aint gonna be third fourth wheel BUT! You'll having a date!" excited at palakpak ni Jessica but all the girls have a disqust look on there faces.

"We will support you, Jes but date? I'll pass," typical Esperanza.

"I'll go! Ayoko ng magging single ano! Malay niyo ito na pala yon," hirit ni Stephanie at nag high five sila ni Jessica.

"sorry girls but I have a date," Claire winked and now eyes are on me.

Umiling ako, "I don't want too busy din ako," pagdadahilan ko but I am really busy tho. "Bitch napaka guarded mo naman! Try mo ulit malay mo ito na iyon," there all hoping I get a boyfriend this year huh?

After everthing I went through? I have no plans dating someone, again. Jessica pouted, "pangit ka bonding." I rolled my eyes. Kahit ano pang gawin niya my answer is NO. "bibili lang ako," I said bago pa nila ako pilitin or something.

I approached the cashier at bumili ng tubig and a pie. Cravin' for it for months buti na lang at nakakita ako sa school canteen. I was about to go when I heard a lil conversation between the cashier and that very familiar voice.

"sinigang ijo?" she asked. It's his favorite food... I always cooked that for him. "pass ate li haha, may bago na akong paboritong ulam ngayon. Mas masarap." that hurt. I gulped and tried to fish money from my purse.

"naku sayang ito pa naman ang ihanda ko para sayo,"

"luh paano naman kami ate li?" rinig kong saad ni Patrick, tropa niya. "naku, kahit ano naman iharap sayo ijo kakainin mo."

"ano nga pala ang bago mo paboritong ulam ijo ipagluluto kita?" nagpintig ang tenga ko. what will it be? Ano ang dumaig sa sinigang ko?

I heard a long silence, wala siyang plano sabihin?

I am standing here for too long... baka makahalata. "thank you ate g," I smiled at bumalik na sa table namin. The girls just talking at mukhang walang napansin or not? Claire move to my side and lay her head on my shoulders.

"You good?" she sounds concern.

"of course, bakit naman hindi?" I asked and gave her a smile. She looks worried but smiled. "his looking," I know. I can feel it. "I don't care, tapos na iyong amin." I heard her sigh and held my hands. She squeezes it tight.

Oh Claire... I love how she sees things. love my girls.

"Hindi ka pa uuwi?" muntikan na akong patalon sa gulat ng may marinig na boses mula sa likod ko. I glared at Sanjo at tinggal ang earphones na nasa tenga ko. "Bakit ka ba nangugulat?" I glared at him.

Umiling siya at umupo sa tabi ko, "ano ba?" I said, annoyed at dumusog rin. Ang sikip-sikip na nga rito dadagdag pa siya. "Dito lang may signal e," tinaas niya ang phone. "Your playing again?" I gave him a 'uh' look. He nodded and smirk.

"Gosh, duda na talaga ako paano ka pumapasa." everytime I see this guy. his holding his godamn phone and playing online games like sir?? Wala ka bang plano magaral man lang?

I smiled, we were unsperable you know? but things changes, we barely talk, look at each other. Oh... just how fast the night changes. "Steph tara na, may klase pa tayo." we bid goodbye to the girls and headed to our prespective classroom.

"wait, naiihi ako, una ka na sa classroom," I nodded, I don't want to be late. terror pa naman ang susunod naming guro. Pumasok ako sa classroom and I am not surprised almost everyone in the class, mga takot mapagalitan.

Umiling ako at dumirestio sa likod. His not here yet, good. I plugged in my earphones and duck. Just few minu-- "putangina naman,"

"what the heck Sanjo? stop cussing!" ani how the hell did he got here fast? Wala pang isang minutong nakadukdok ako! Did he teleport or something? I look at his phone and he is PLAYING. Ano iyan trademark niya? I mentally roll my eyes.

"shut up Ivy," pinadilatan ko siya ng mata. Sa inis ko ay kinuha ko ang cellphone niya. "tangina naglalaro yung tao e!" napalakas ang boses niya. "How dare you use that langguage to me Tores?"

"don't piss me off Santiago," he glared and tried reaching out for his phone. "Your the one pissing me off Tores so better shut your mouth or I'll kick your balls." I glared at padabog na binaba sa lamesa ang cellphone niya. I don't care if mabasag ang screen, he deseves it.

I left the room panting, this it what happens when you put two people with no proper closure in one room, they fight.

I held my heart and shout all the frustrations and anger inside me. Tangina naman... pinunasan ko ang luha ko. I haven't move on. I can't. I don't want to. I have to.

pull yourself together Ivy. 

note: this was suppose to be a book but lose the motivation, the plot so this is where this piece belongs to. Maayos and I was enjoying writing this piece at first but as it gets longer I thought this isn't my style. so yeah lost it again...