the breaking line

Comfort

"For fuck sake your finally home" I say looking at the time on my phone as Michael places his keys on the counter it's currently 4 in the morning, I was laying on the couch watching Gilmore girls, I put Hazel and Alyssa to bed a little over five hours ago.

Michael texted me after his shift at the hospital if he could go out with a few friends. Of course I said yes, he deserves to have a little fun every once in a while, and I needed the extra pay.

I push the duvet off my lap I walk into the kitchen where Michael is. I stand across from him on the island. He rest his hands on both sides of him leaning against the counter top. He lets out a shallow breath. I think I should start a conversation but he looks mad, or sad. I can't really tell. The eight months I've known Michael I've ever seen him show much emotion.

"How was work today?" I started a conversation, but I said it quietly enough that he could brush the comment off if he wants. He looks down at his hands and then glares at with his head still down. "A 6 year old boy died in my arms today, and it was my fault Olivia" he pushes off of the counter and leans on the other counter behind him crossing his arms trying his best not to make eye contact with me. I think if he looks at me he's going to break.

I was not expecting that response from him. He's told me weird, happy, sad, and funny work stories but not a devastating stories like this. "He was a child, I killed him. He's the same age as Hazel, Olivia." He spoke with so much emotion, I didn't know what to do besides just freeze where I was. He didn't kill him, if he tried his best to save him that isn't killing someone. Right?

"Michael I'm sure it wasn't your fault" I don't know the full story but he's a surgeon so I feel he tried his best. I slowly walk over to Michael and stand to the side of him. His eyes start to get glossy, I can tell he's trying not to break but sooner or later tonight he will end up breaking. "the moment has been replaying in my head all night. The flatline noise when his heart gave out. I thought hanging out with my friends and numbing the pain with alcohol tonight would've helped but it didn't I just made it worse" he say breaking down into tears. You always know what to do when a child starts crying, you comfort the child. No one tells you how to comfort a grown ass adult.

I can't help but feel sympathy for Michael. I wrap my arms around him, almost instantly he returns the favor and wraps his arms around my torso, he places his head into brook of my neck and releases all the emotions he's held for god knows how long. I can't help it, I few tears trickle down the side of my cheek. I hurt for him, it hurts even more knowing that he's blaming himself.

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After ten minutes of us holding each other in the middle of the kitchen crying in each others arms he lets go as I do the same. I've felt safe in his arms, I've never experience what I just felt before. He comforted me when I wasn't the one that needed comfort.

"Wow shit this is embarrassing. Sorry" he says taking a step back wiping his wet face off with his sleeve. I lightly shake my head "you don't have to apologize. We are all humans and we all have emotions it's normal" I say with a slight smile appearing on my face. Michael just stares at me I'm not sure if it's a good stare or I should be embarrassed. I did sort of say something cheeky but it's true everyone has emotions it's normal. I might have only known Michael for a little over half a year, but I like the friendship we have grown with each other. It's comforting.

"If you ever need to talk about what happened tonight at work. I'll listen" I say taking a seat on the barstool at the island. "Thank you" he says with a small smile on his face, his eyes glistening a vibrant shade of green. He clears his throat before speaking again "it's four in the morning, you can go sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch" he speaks as he grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge. Why couldn't we just sleep in the same bed. We are adults, I have no sexual attraction to him, I know nothing would happen. I'm a virgin, but nobody needs it knows that.

"I can drive home" I say staring at him. "No ,it's to late and you have to be here in 2 hours anyways" He leans against the counter with his back crossing his arms. It's crazy that he was crying in my arms twenty minutes ago and now he thinks he controls me. "Oh your still going to work tomorrow?" I speak out of Curiosity. "Why wouldn't I?" He questions with a confused expression on his face. "I don't think that the hospital is a good environment for a little while after what happened today. Well technically yesterday now." I say suggesting for him to take off the day tomorrow for his own mental health.

"Let's go to bed" he brushed off what I just suggested I take that as a 'no hes not going to take off tomorrow'

"I'll sleep on the couch" I say walking into the living room plugging my phone in.

"No you won't be. I wouldn't let you" Michael says. I sit on the couch staring up at Michael. Michael is a giant he's exactly 8 inches taller then me, we measured last week because I was curious. "Don't make me carry you up the stairs" I says annoyed. "You wouldn't dare" I say teasing him.

He lets out a big sigh before leaning down and throwing me over his shoulder like a baby. I start laughing like an idiot little kid. "Put me down Michael" I say jokingly. He finally makes it up to his bedroom with me still over his shoulder. He throws me onto his bed and he lays right next to me.We stare at each other. The entire world goes silent it's just me and Michael inches apart. We've never been this close together but it almost feels normal. He makes deep eye contact with me for a while.

Michael clears his throat and gets off the bed as I still lay there staring at him. He's so perfect . "I have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom for you, this entire dresser is my clothes you can use anything in there for your pajamas" he says as he points to the dresser in the corner of the room. "Thank you Michael" I sit up onto the corner of the bed. "Goodnight Olivia" he grabs my face gently and kisses my forehead. He looks down at me gives me a smile and opens the door and closes it behind him.

I pull open a drawer and find a long over sized t shirt. I slip off my pants so I'm only wearing the shirt and my thing lilac thong. I step into the bathroom or brush my teeth, after I brush my teeth for the 2 minutes I slip into Michaels bed I go to bed. I was exhausted. I was so tired I forgot to set my alarm for in the morning.