Secret Moments-Byler

4.

Will could feel eyes on him as he sat at his desk, drawing sketches on the canvas he would soon start to paint. He sat his pencil down and turned his head to his doorframe.

"I thought you were packing?" Will said, turning his body with his head now.

"I took a break." Joyce gave a light laugh, uncrossing her arms and moved to standing rather than leaning on the doorframe. She began to walk, sitting on Will's bed. A lot of his things had already been packed up so there wasn't much left to do. Will's room had stayed bare and minimalistic since they first moved in. He never truly made it his own, even after all of Joyce and Jonathan's suggestions of posters and decor.

"Come here, baby boy." Joyce said, opening her arms. Will got up, sitting with his mom on his bed. She put an arm around his shoulders, holding her youngest son.

"Why are you sitting in here drawing? You should be out with your friend, honey." Joyce said, rubbing his shoulder gently. Will looked at the ground and shrugged slightly. "I-I don't know. Jonathan is with Nancy and Mike is with El. When I was with them earlier, I was just this third wheel and I don't... I don't want to be somewhere I'm not really wanted." He explained, keeping his eyes on the ground.

Joyce listened to her son, moving her other hand to his cheek and pushing his head to her shoulder. She felt terrible for her son. She had noticed how he wasn't adjusting well to all of this change and how depressed he had been. Even though Mike was El's boyfriend, Joyce invited him in hopes it would cheer Will up. It worked, for a short period of time, but now he was back into his routine of being alone in his room. He wasn't the same as before. He didn't talk to Jonathan or Joyce about his feelings anymore. And that scared Joyce.

"Why don't we go out and get a bite to eat, yeah? Just us two." Joyce suggested, her cheek in Will's head as it rested on her shoulder.

"I really... I just want to finish some pieces, mom." WIll said softly.

Joyce swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay, baby." She said, moving her face up and rubbing his shoulder. "Okay, well, what do you think for dinner? I was thinking of just ordering some pizza. Does that sound good?"

Will nodded. "Yeah, pizza sounds good." He assured. Joyce nodded, sitting there for a moment more before she got up and began to leave.

"Mom" Will said, looking at her from where he remained on the bed. "Yes, honey?" Joyce said, turning a bit to face him. "You don't..." He paused, swallowing hard. "You don't need to worry. I'm okay, I promise."

Joyce looked at him for a moment before she nodded. "Okay. Okay, Will. Just, you can always talk to me. About anything." She said.

Will sucked in a breath. He wished that was true. He really did. But he couldn't tell his mom everything. He couldn't tell her that he liked boys the way he was supposed to like girls. Or that he was in love with his best friend and sister's boyfriend. He couldn't stand the thought of her hating him and leaving him because of these feelings. His dad had known. He wasn't sure how but he would call him a fag and a fairy. He'd push him around because he was gay. Will didn't even have to tell him and he hated him. He couldn't go through that again. Especially not with his mom.

Will nodded when he realized he hadn't said anything in too long. "Yeah, yeah, I know mom." He assured. Joyce smiled at him before giving a simple nod before she walked out, closing the door as she left.

Will stayed until dinner arrived. He then walked into the kitchen and helped his mother set the table. He then sat as his mother called the couples. It took Mike and Eleven a moment to get there, which wouldn't have been too odd if there wasn't tension. But there was, and it felt bad. They wouldn't even look at each other.