Damsel In Distress (A Tom Hiddleston Story)

Chapter 10: Had. Not have.

CLAIRE

"I'm coming back. I promise. I just need to find myself. I have to." He whispered in my ear as he held me close.

"N-no. P-please no. I-I know you're mad b-but please... You can't just leave." I pleaded as I sobbed.

"You know I can never get mad at you. I just need some time. Believe me, if it were only in my power I'd stay and help you find yourself but I can't do that unless I find myself as well." He whispers still.

"No! Please I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please just shout at me. Hate me. But don't leave. I'm begging you. Please... don't..." I begged as I struggled to get out of his arms to stare him in the eye.

"Claire, please don't say sorry. Please just listen. I'll come back, I swear. I swear to you. You know I won't stand that long without you but I still have to try and do this. For us both."

"No! You know what I feel about being left alone! You know how I get! You of all people know what my tendencies are! You left me before and you promised you won't leave again... Why are you doing this? Please, please, please, just tell me you're mad. Tell me you hate me. I can live with that. But please, don't leave."

His face contorted as my words cut through him. It broke me as well. Broke me harder than I already am. "Claire, you know I do things for a reas-"

"Yes! I know you're only doing this because you're mad but you just won't admit it!"

"CLAIRE! You know I can never get mad at you. Yes I can ignore you at times but you know I can never resist yo-"

"If that's so then don't leave!"

"Clai-" 

Before he can say another excuse I knelt on the floor and hugged his knees.

"Claire... please don't do this... Claire, stand up, please... Claire look at me!"

I only hugged tighter in response. "Claire. I'm sorry. I'll come back I promise." He said as he knelt and took me in his arms, hugging me as he did, and kissing me goodbye in the forehead. With that he stood up. I tried to run. Calling after him. But it got darker and more suffocating. I ran until I can see him no more. I ran until I felt my legs turn into jellies. 

I was lost. 

Lost in that darkness. 

It haunted me. 

It scared me more than anything. It crept up my scalp, penetrated my bones, and suffocated me as it went. His words were an echo as I ran desperately.

I wake up with a start. I could still feel suffocation and there was nothing I could do but pant. I felt something by my legs.