Sky and Tuck

Chapter 15

It's A Sober Life For Me, I Fucking Hope

TUCK

Well, here are the highlights of my fucking year so far:

1.  Burned out all my healthy relationships (years ago)...found out Sky lost almost her whole family, and I was such a no-show in everyones life that I barely made it to the funeral

2.  Talked with my family and Sky, though she sure as fuck didn't want to hear or see me...and the family (rightly so) said I had to do rehab and leave Sky alone

3. 90 days of rehab, successfully completed

4.  60 days of sober living in a group home, successfully completed

5.  Sober living in my own home, well a rental, but just me and my new best friend Turo, my sober living companion for the next several months, successfully started

Arturo and I are in a small house a couple of blocks from my parents.  Arturo is a good guy, and he obviously understands where I've come from, and where I'm trying to go.  The man is brilliant and awesome, and I'm fucking lucky that he is helping me.  He's shared some of his story, and it was rough, so his perspective and experience are fucking invaluable.  We're working on my new life, filling it with a routine that's healthy, people who are strong and positive influences and filling my days with music mostly.  I'm working on new songs, working with the guys again, which has been a fucking miracle.

They're letting me back in, slowly, and with a shit load of caution.  But I know how committed I am, they will eventually see it, and hopefully trust in me.   If not, that's fair, they've more than earned the right to be skeptical and perhaps not want me around anymore.  I get it, sometimes consequences suck.  But for now, we're playing together, and they like what I've been writing and how I've been playing.

I see my parents all the time, Kell, Mel and Jase almost daily.  Mel and Jase are a fucking riot, and they make this time without Sky bearable.  Mostly because they're the only ones who slip up and share info with me about Sky and the kids.  Spending time with my parents is fucking emotional, trying to repair the damage I've given them, showing my love and appreciation, basically trying to make up for lost time.  They're great pepople and I'm lucky to have them.

Sky's  job has taken her and the kids into the city for a few months, they are living there full time now.  My parents and Kells family see them a couple of times a week.  I know when they see them because they aren't with me, and then I get little snippets of what my girl is up to.  No surprise, she and the kids are thriving.  The kids go to a daycare at Skys office, they go to the beach, have slumber parties with Jase, and seem to be moving forward.  Sky is doing great at work.  Un-fucking-fortunately I know her boss, not well, but I've seen him around through the years.  He's a couple of years older than me, a fucking pretty boy, who is successful in both acting and directing.  He's never been married, dated a fuck ton of hot women, and I've seen first hand that he's also gotten pretty fucking dirty with a fuck ton more.  But honestly, he's not a bad guy.  I want him to be, I want to tell Sky that he's an asshole, but he isn't.  I also know for a fact that he's gonna chase Sky.  I suspected this for awhile, but my fear was confirmed when I saw a pic of the two of them on a news site announcing his newest project, a movie Sky is working on.

Fuck fuck fuck

I'm stressing out, panicking, my brain is frying on overdrive, I can't complete a thought, I'm fucking spinning out of control.  Used to be the solution to this problem was a boatload of alcohol, obviously, now my life requires a radically different approach.

"Arturo.  Turo, you up man?  I'm kind of struggling here right now, sorry to bother you.  I really don't want to fuck up."  Knocking on the door, softly first then louder, no surprise since it's 3:00am.