Sky and Tuck

Chapter 17

Thanksgiving Day, Part 1

TUCK

Well it's here, I'm as ready as I can be.  I've been working towards this moment for over 10 months.  Turo is happy with how I'm doing, we talk all the time about triggers, weaknesses, projecting potential outcomes, protecting myself, basically that the only thing I can control is me.  I can't change others opinions of me, expectations of me, anger and disappointment in me, and a fuck ton of other negative shit I brought on myself.

I am doing my best, every fucking day I wake up and I work towards the overwhelming goal of being a better person, and trying to leave the shittiest parts of myself in the past.   I fill my life with the band, my family, working out, cooking (I'm shit at this, but thank fuck that Turo is an awesome cook), basically I try to keep myself busy.  Before, I tried to numb by brain and anesthetize my feelings, now I try to acknowledge them and work through the bad ones.  The good ones are a bit more rare, but I fucking cherish those when I get them.  Like hanging with my parents and brothers family, they really seem to enjoy me now.  Even Jase thinks I'm fun, and I'm FINALLY Uncle Tuck, not Uncle Ashole.  I fucking hate that name, but now that I have a little time and distance from it, it was totally appropriate and kind of funny too.

Turo and I will get to my parents before anyone else, he thinks it will be good to get me involved and busy with the shit that needs doing.  Not give me too much time to start worrying and freaking out.  I know me, and my mind is gonna be kind of wild because Sky and the kids will be there, so I need to work at having some calming outlets for when I get stressed.

Turo also said it's not the time to talk to Sky about all the shit I want to get out there.  I know he's right, I won't bring that stuff up, we're all just gonna have Thanksgiving and enjoy being together.

"Hey, Tuck, did you talk to Ike yet?  You were gonna call him earlier, we should be leaving in a few.  Get that done if you need to, then lets head to your parents."  Turo yells up from the kitchen, I can hear him banging around, packing up the two pies we made yesterday.  His pie looks awesome and tastes better, my looks pretty rough and tastes ok.  Fuck it, I'm not a baker and that shows, but I am a pretty good musician, and that shows too.

"Yeah man, I called early this morning, he told me to take the day as it comes, don't try to control it, just enjoy it.  If I get stressed, step outside and do some breathing and maybe yoga, or go bang on the drums for a bit,  If that doesn't work, I'll look for you."  I relay this pretty nonchalantly, but I'm honestly feeling the stress, I'm nervous, I want to make a good impression, I don't want to let anyone down.  But more than anything, I'm fucking amped to see Sky and the kids.

---*---

Fuck, staring out at the driveway, I see Sky and the kids arriving.  She's unbuckling them from their seats, they've got flowers and other shit in their hands, though the flowers that Colt is dragging on the ground are gonna look like shit.  All three of them are giggling and laughing, sweet and happy.  Their family looks good, Sky is doing a fucking amazing job with those kids.  I wish I was a part of it, but I'm not, maybe soon, hopefully soon.  They all look like they're fuckin thriving, I'm so damn proud of Sky and all she has accomplished in the past year.

Jase is tearing out the front door with Mel on his heels, Nell and Colt are shrieking with laughter as he comes to an abrupt stop in front of them.  I can't hear the words being spoken but I can see that they're all having a great time and looking forward to the day.  I can see the exact moment that Mel tells Sky I'm already here, she takes a deep breath, and then looks straight into the side yard where I'm setting up the turkey fryer.  I smile and wave my hand, she smiles a bit, then turns back to Mel and the kids.