The Squib and the Werewolf (book 2)

43. Second Chance

Once Dumbledore had left, Sirius headed upstairs to pack the things he was going to take to Grimmauld Place the next day.
Raya followed him, and crossed her arms as she leant against the closed bedroom door.
"So, we're really going to do this again then?" Asked Raya.
"Do what?" Questioned Sirius.
"Join the Order of the Phoenix again" answered Raya.
"Well, technically we never left, so there is no need to rejoin"
"The Order hasn't been active since the first wizarding war. Dumbledore closed it all down when Voldemort disappeared. So, we are under no obligation to be a part of it again".

"What are you getting at Raya?" Frowned Sirius, as he stopped packing and turned around to face her.
"I am asking if you really want to go through everything we went through during the first war, all over again?" Questioned Raya, as she dropped her arms and stepped closer to Sirius.
"Voldemort is back, so we have no choice" replied Sirius.
"That's just it, we do have a choice. We don't have to join the Order and put a target on our backs like last time. And we don't have to become Dumbledore's disposable soldiers again"
"So, you want to just sit back and let Voldemort take over the world?".

"It is not up to us to stop him. We are not responsible for his actions. It's the aurors job to take down Voldemort and his death eaters, and we are not aurors" reminded Raya.
"Well, since Fudge doesn't believe that Voldemort is back, he's unlikely to deploy any aurors, any time soon" admitted Sirius.
"Then it is up to Dumbledore to stop Voldemort, he's the one with all the awards, like Supreme MUGWUMP, and Order of Merlin 1st class"
"Dumbledore cannot defeat Voldemort by himself, he needs us".

"It's true, he does need us. He cannot succeed without brave people to sacrifice like pawns. We all know that he likes to pull the strings, from the safety of Hogwarts. While other people risk their lives in his name. He didn't care about us in the first war, and he doesn't care about us now. He will sacrifice us and our friends, whenever it suits him, just like last time. Not once did he join us on a mission, or make any attempt to kill Voldemort himself. We don't owe him anything. He lost our trust, so why should we risk everything again, for him?" Asked Raya.
"For the good of the peoole. You can't tell me that you're really O.K, with just sitting back, while Voldemort goes on murderous rampages" answered Sirius.

"Why should we care about people who don't care about us? The whole wizarding world thinks we are traitors, and would love to hand us over to the Dementors. Even our old friends in the Order turned their backs on us. They refused to help me, when I was at my lowest. Emmeline, Sturgis, Dedalus, they all turned their backs on me. So, why should I join forces with people like that, to save the general public who want you dead?" Demanded Raya.
"Our friends have apologised for their past actions" reminded Sirius.

"Oh, so that makes it O.K does it? They wanted to kill you, Sirius. And they've treated me horribly for 14 years. So, how can you call them friends? I can't simply forgive them, because they said sorry. And why should I have to? Apologising doesn't erase the past. I can never trust them again. And I can't fight alongside people, who I don't trust to have my back" admitted Raya.
"You will learn to trust them again" reassured Sirius.
"I doubt it. And I doubt they will ever trust me again, after thinking I was a traitor for so long" replied Raya.

"Look, whether or not we get on with the other Order members, is not the point. We have to join the Order, so that we can help stop Voldemort" insisted Sirius.
"But why? Why is that our responsibility? We fought in the first war. We sacrificed so much, and lost our best friends. We did our part, so we should not have to fight in this new war. It should be someone elses job" replied Raya.
"But no one else is going to step up, which is why it has to be us" sighed Sirius.

"If you are you ready to fight, then answer me this, are you ready to trust Dumbledore again? Are you prepared to give him a second chance? Forget about everything I have already mentioned. Forget about the public who hate us, and the Order who don't trust us. Just think about Dumbledore. That man betrayed us, and cut us loose, the moment we were not of use to him. He let you go to jail for a crime you didn't commit, and then he took Harry from me. He didn't lift a finger to help us, and he let so many good people die. I'm not talking about just James and Lily, I'm talking about all the others; Benjy, Edgar, Dorcas, Marlene, and so many others. Dumbledore failed to protect all of them. So, answer my question, are you willing to put your life in that mans hands?" Questioned Raya.

"Dumbledore is the only one who will stand up against Fudge and Voldemort. If he is going to find a way to kill Voldemort, then I want to be a part of the group trying to do it. I want to protect Harry, and my kids. And they won't be safe as long as Voldemort is alive. So, if I have to trust Dumbledore again, to protect those I care about, and stop Voldemort, then that is what I am going to do" announced Sirius.
"Do you really believe Dumbledore can stop him?" Asked Raya.
"I don't know. But if he does, I want to be at his side" answered Sirius.

"Then you're a better person than me. I cannot forget what Dumbledore did. And I will never forgive him" informed Raya.
"You don't have to forgive him, to join him" replied Sirius.
"I think you do. Besides, the last time I joined the Order, I was young and foolish. I had no responsibilities back then. But things are different now. And what will happen to Harry, Jamie, and Sophia, if I die on one of Dumbledore's missions? It's not just myself I have to think about now" admitted Raya.

"It is for them, that I will join the Order. But if you don't want to do the same, then I am not going to force you. No one is going to make you rejoin against your will. If you don't want to risk your life anymore, then that is your choice" said Sirius, as he took hold of Raya's hands.
"If I don't join, then I won't get to visit you at Grimmauld Place. And seeing you matters more to me, than almost anything... So perhaps I will just have to pretend to be in the Order, and be happy to see all the old members. While secretly holding a grudge against all of them" replied Raya.
"That's your choice"
"At least that way I can attend meetings with you, and not be kept out of the loop... But if Dumbledore even attempts to send me on another one of his stupid missions, then I will refuse. That man is not going to tell me what to do ever again. I will never be his little obedient soldier. I am a Lioness, and I do not follow orders from old arrogant men!".