Perfidia

Berlin

Alicia didn't bring up anything to Andres in the next days. On one hand because Sergio didn't say anything she didn't know already, and the fact that he was this worried proved that Andres was about to tell her something important.

On the other hand, because with not doing so, she proved to Sergio that she can be trusted, and eased his suspicion. Or at least so she thought.

Neither did she catch up with Raquel before leaving. Alicia has had enough of her dismissive attitude and with disagreeing with her regarding almost anything. I can't expect her to understand it... She would never do anything like this.

"Because I am crazy." she whispered to herself with trembling lips as she stared at her reflection in the mirror of the hotel bedroom.

On the morning of their flight to Berlin Alicia woke up feeling nauseaous. When she made her morning coffee, she realized that her hands were trembling. She has had serious second thoughts about going.

But here I am. And I am not scared. I knew very well what I was getting into. I can do this.

Giving herself a pep talk was not something she often did - or needed to do. But she was still tiptoeing on the verge of giving up on her plan, on the verge of fleeing. Both from her plan, and from Andres himself.

No, I am not such a coward! What am I even scared of?!

She needed a kick to keep moving. But it was only herself she could expect it from.

I am not scared! This is just the healthy dose of stress one feels before a mission!

And she wasn't even wrong. Because it was a hell of a mission to ignore the feeling of the lingering culpability she started to feel for deciding to do the right thing. To catch a criminal.

She raised her chin and finished putting up her eyeliner, then she put her hair into a loose ponytail. Her hand wasn't trembling anymore, but the damned nausea persisted. She might have convinced her mind that she won't get sentimental, but her body was still disagreeing with her. She gave herself a confident half-smirk anyway, and walked back into the hotel room.

"Oh, you're already getting ready to go out for dinner?" Andres turned on his other side between the sheets. He has just woken up from their afternoon nap, Alicia barely closed her eyes. "We still have almost two hours."

"Relax, I am far from ready..." she said jokingly, her own words strangely resonating in her head. "Do I look ready to you? I am wearing a towel!"

"You are gorgeous." Andres grabbed her hand as she passed him by, pulling her back on the bed.

Alicia gave in to him, like always. This really didn't require much thought or faking from her. But as she rolled near him, and his arms wrapped her into his already familiar and comfortable embrace, their limbs getting entangled, which made it clear for her what direction this is going into, for the first time, she felt like becoming tense. This is so wrong! She automatically pulled away from him, making him frown.

"What's wrong?" Andres looked at her with a searching gaze, slowly pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

What's wrong?! I am at the peak of playing you! I can't do this now... Alicia just shook her head with a confused smile. And now I feel guilty even for playing the role I consciously put myself into. What the hell is wrong with me?!

She knew very well what bothered her. It hurt her that she was going to hurt him. And she had no choice, she had to let it hurt.

"Nothing." she smiled reassuringly and leaned back closer to him. "I just... barely managed to get some sleep since yesterday and I still have a headache from the crying of that baby which sat behind us on the plane..." she laughed as she laid her head on his chest. She felt like a cat purring warmly while distracting you from the fact that he just broke your favorite vase. She realized only then what manipulative bitches her favorite pets can be. "So I am just... not in the mood right now. Sorry." she added as she blinked up at him with an apologetical smile.