Restless Heart Syndrome

Chapter 5 Stray Heart

"It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder to not be able to love."

~Miguel de Unamuno

Restless Heart Syndrome Chapter 5 Stray Heart

Saying Alec Lightwood is happy is not really a true statement. To say that feeling your insides tear up and shift over, to feel them… fucking around in his is a wonderful and awe-inspiring is just as stupid and blatantly untrue of a statement. To feel something curl around inside you, to tear apart and make new connections, to steal away at the parts that keep you breathing… It's hardly a wonder why it's unpleasant. And with such a sudden onslaught, of course he was surprised. With all the slashes his insides were taking, the internal bleeding flooding through him with plans of flooding him it's only natural that it was a rush and he passed out from the suddenness of it.

When Alec wakes up, he certainly isn't happy. He's shaken, and doesn't know exactly what to expect as he wakes up in the room he's been inhabiting for the last month or so. He doesn't expect an apology from Magnus, Hell, he doesn't even really expect Magnus to be there, but he is, in some chair he probably conjured up because he didn't want to drag one in.

"I'm sorry." They're the first words that assault Alec's ears when his eyes adjust to the light, and though them he sees an apprehensive Magnus, his eyebrows tense and bottom lip being worried on like a hole in the bottom of a pocket. It's… surprising. Along with the fact that he doesn't really hurt, besides an odd ache in his hips.

"Why?" Alec asks, blinking. It's not like Magnus did this too him…

"I wanted to try something."

Or not. Alec sighs, because it's frustrating. To be toyed with like this, does he get no stability? "You wanted to try something? Magnus, what you did could have been dangerous."

"I know," The warlock admits. "I thought you might be okay if I took the magic away. Even if you weren't, I didn't expect it to be so sudden..

"So it's my fault, then?" Alec snaps, his blood suddenly running hot like a tap that's been molded into a running faucet. One with no control over the 'on' switch, it seems.

"I didn't say that, I just meant—"

"I get it, Magnus. Just... leave me alone, please."

After a moment of hesitation, he does leave, but with a deep fear etched into his mind. A voice in the back of his mind, a little warning he refuses to believe could be true. It's a possibility, but it's not going to happen. He's not going to let it appen, he's going to keep Alec on his magic for the rest of the shadowhunter's life if he has to.

He's going to die.

Worry is a word Magnus would use to describe his feelings towards Alec at the moment. Frustrated, because he's worried and not knowing is just plain insulting to his pride. Annoyed, Magnus is also, because the Silent Brothers and the Lightwoods keep stoppng by his house, giving him no new information and acting like they're better than him, when he's the one keeping the shadowhunter alive. If it wasn't Alec who was ill, and if he didn't care about angering the Clave, he would stop regenerating his charge's tissue just to spite them. The glares from Isabelle are just as unwelcome as the sharp words from Jace, and sometimes, just as tiring as Alec is himself.

He goes from one mood to another, with no rhyme, no reason. He won't sit in one place long, but won't stand long either. He's restless, he's ill and bordering on unstable. He won't let Magnus back into his life, either. It's for the best, Magnus knows. Alec tried to kill him, and Magnus was his first boyfriend. It's hardly a simple situation, especially with the added stress of an unknown ailment that could quite possibly kill him, and not just if he strays from the warlock. Whatever's happening could mutate, and that could be it. The end. The final page of the storybook.