I Learn Why

Gray

You may want this virtual tissue. *offers pixilated tissue*

Grey is a boring color. It is a color without much meaning, but when it does, for some strange moment, have meaning, it almost always symbolizes something sad. The color has so many boring qualities. There are many shades, but they're all the same. There is no difference. Nothing is extraordinarily unique.

But the color is the exact opposite of my brother.

Gray is the least boring baby brother. His personality ranges from sleeping to jumping off the walls, if he could walk, and he is never ever not hungry. He's like all the colors of the world except grey. He's like the sun. He's the most epic contradiction to the color grey, and yet his name is Gray.

But there's this other side to him.

And I don't even know what it is.

But my parents- they cringe when it happens.

Their smiles disappear like how water trickles through my fingers.

I only know that it happens when Annie visits us, and her son, Finn, plays with Gray. Mom once told me that she named him after his father, but I've never seen Finn's dad. Mom never tells me where he went.

And once, when Finn came over to show Gray his new toy, I couldn't help but ask.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Little Duck?"

I looked over at Annie, sitting quietly as she watched my brother giggle at Finn's new shovel.

"Mom, where is Finn's daddy?"

The silence was heavy on my chest as Annie's face because hallow. Mother looked at me, frowned, and brushed my cheek with her thumb.

"Ivy..." she started, and glanced at Annie. Her attempt to smile was nonexistent. "Ivory, don't ask things like that."

My mother only calls me my full name when we're in formal situations or when she's mad.

"We should go," Annie said, and she tied her scarf around her head. "Finn!" she shouted at her son. "Finn!"

"Mom," I whispered hurriedly. "Mother! Who's his dad? Please, Mommy? I just want to-"

"He's gone, Ivy," she whispered to me, and rose from the tall stalks of grass she had been sitting behind in the meadow. "He's never coming back."

"Where'd he go?"

And I'd forgotten, for a moment that I had to whisper.

"She killed him," Annie screamed, and Gray and Finn's laughter was gone. "Your own mother could have saved him! He could be a father!" Her tears dripped down into the meadow's soil, and I wondered, briefly, if soil could feel her sadness.

"Please, Annie, I'm sorry," Mother kept saying, over and over. Daddy had ran over with Gray in his arms and Finn in tow.

"Katniss," I remember him wheezing. "Katniss, they found them."

"What?"

"They dug them up. Finn did and gray fell into the ditch and he's all dirty but he's ok..."

Only then did I see the dirt stains on Gray's baby knees.

"Cover them. Go, and meet us back at the house. Peeta?"

Father put my baby brother in my arms as Finn skipped away with Annie.

"Yes?"

"Don't let anyone see you."

omg i feel bad. did you use your pixilated tissue because i did.

ok i admit the chapter is really confusing because Ivy doesn't know what Katniss and Peeta know. if there are any questions as to what thing represents what leave a comment and i'll respond as soon as possible!

"Kiss it all better

I'm not ready to go,

It's not your fault, love.

You didn't know, you didn't know."

-Kiss It Better, He Is We

[if you ship Cato and Clove then omfg THIS IS THE SONG FOR YOU]