House of Love

4. Platonic Love?

Groaning in pure boredom, Louis slammed his head down on the tabletop in front of him, earning an amused chuckle from Luke next to him. "He talks soooo slow".

"I think it's his kind of torture strategy" Luke snickered quietly.

"How can anyone follow what he is talking about without falling asleep? Are they even human?" Louis glanced around the room where his fellow students all seemed to pay close attention to the professor, who talked abnormally slow.

"I don't think so" Luke tried to hide his grin but failed.

"Please, kill me" Louis lay his head back down, burying it in his folded arms.

"Nah, I need you to suffer with me, Tommo" Luke gently patted Louis' back and it made Louis flinch against his will. He tried to not make it too obvious because he didn't want to hurt Luke.

"Thanks" Louis snorted exaggeratedly to prove a point.

And to distract from the flinching Luke may have still noticed. Louis just couldn't help his instinctive reactions. Human physical contact was triggering to him by now. He had watched himself wince, jerk away, twitch in discomfort or blatantly flinch away from any human contact. At first, he didn't understand himself because he couldn't actively remember anything bad happening to him that he had categorized as bad or abusive during that time. But from his point of view now, he had come to the terrifying realisation that he definitely has been a victim of abuse but has always tried to find excuses for him. He hasn't seen the problem because he has been blind, blinded by his own feelings. Now he had to live with the consequences, including being unable to let anyone get close to him ever again. Not even for a simple hug.

Except for Jonah. With Jonah, Louis suddenly didn't know that problem. When Jonah touched his back or his arm or rested his chin on his shoulder Louis didn't so much as flinch. He didn't react at all, apart from feeling weirdly safe. Jonah's touch didn't scare or trigger him and Louis had no idea where the difference was but he also didn't care. He wanted Jonah close. End of story.

"Thank God, it's over" Luke exhaled deeply when they finally walked out of the door into their freedom.

"How am I supposed to pass this class when I can't follow what he is even talking about without falling asleep?!" Louis wailed dramatically because he could.

"We could study together" Luke offered to him and Louis didn't know how to feel but couldn't say why. "With Àmbar as well".

"Ah, yeah. That sounds like a good idea. We could do that" Louis preferred the version of the three of them together. "But now I have to go. Sorry but I have plans with some friends".

"It's okay. Have fun, yeah? See you next time".

Waiting for the other guys at their meeting point in town felt strange to Louis. Surreal even. He still didn't understand why they wanted him here, why they had invited him to tag along. Louis had referred to them as his friends to Luke but they really weren't anything. They barely knew each other. They weren't friends ... But maybe they were getting there? Louis had no idea.

"Louis, hey. You're early" Harry was the first to show up, startling him when he lightly touched Louis' shoulder, who obviously jumped at the sudden unwanted touch but Harry didn't notice.

"I walked here from Uni and realised it's not that far" Louis replied even though it didn't make any sense in consideration of Harry's words but Louis was bad at talking to people.

"Our local university? Weird. I go there too. How come we've never run into each other?" Harry knitted his eyebrows together in wonderment.

"The campus isn't small and we don't share any courses" Louis shrugged. He knew even if you wanted to see someone it could be an impossible task if they avoided you.