Angel (Damiano David & Victoria De Angelis)

Chapter 31

The next morning, they were sitting in the kitchen, trying to have breakfast but just like the last time, Damiano refused to eat. "Dami, please...you need to eat and you know that.", she tried to convince him but he shook his head: "I can't, Vic...you know I can't. I couldn't before and I can't now..." She looked at Ethan who nodded at her, signalizing that she should try to feed him. She wasn't sure. He had shut down again during the time she had been gone, so she didn't know whether or not he would even let her. Ethan seemed to see right through her: "Please Vic...he hasn't eaten in days. At least try." She nodded, scooting a bit closer to Damiano, a piece of bread in her hand: "One bite, please...just one and I'll leave you alone." He didn't answer. "Come on...you can do it, Angel.", she tried to convince him but to no avail. She tried to move the bread closer to his mouth, but he turned his face away immediately. "Please stop...I...I just can't...I'm sorry but it's impossible." She shook her head, calmingly caressing his shoulder: "It's not impossible. Nothing is. Just look back at the past few months. Look at what we have achieved together. Compared to what we've been through together already, this is just a tiny challenge. I know you can do it. It's okay if you have to throw up afterwards. Healing isn't like a marathon...it's a walk. It's a slow process with lots and lots of difficulties and relapses but that's okay. It's okay to fail. But you can't even fail if you never even try. The point is: trying is the key. So, please...just one bite...yeah?" He didn't respond for a good two minutes, then, eventually just opening his mouth a tiny little bit. She was relieved, feeding him a bite of bread. Of course, that wasn't nearly as much as he would have needed but it was a start, and she would work it out from there. "Good job...you're doing great. I'm very proud of you.", she praised him, knowing how hard it must have been for him to do a simple task like that. He shook his head, getting up, tears now making their way down his cheeks: "Stop. Stop that bullshit. Those are things I should be able to do...but I can't. The worst part is, I don't even know why. I just can't and that makes me weak. And if I'm not even good enough for simple things like that, how am I supposed to live? How am I supposed to face other challenges? It's impossible..." And with that, he walked out into their backyard, slamming the door behind him.

She just sat there in shock for a moment, not knowing what to do with that. She got up, wanting to follow him but somebody held her back. Strangely enough it was Thomas and not Ethan, as she had expected. "You should give him space to calm down for a minute.", he simply stated in his rather low and quiet voice. "I don't know if that's the right thing. What if he hurts himself...or worse?", she asked, not really convinced that Thomas could give her any good advice on that topic. "If he had wanted to kill himself, he would have done it already. If he didn't do it after a major thing like being raped, do you really think he will kill himself over a piece of bread?", he asked, taking a drag of his freshly lit cigarette. Weirdly enough that made a lot of sense. It wasn't that she didn't trust Thomas...he just didn't seem like a guy who could easily show a lot of compassion and she didn't really think he had a lot of insight on this particular topic. She shrugged: "But still...I don't want him to hurt himself...at least not if I have the possibility to stop him." He shook his head, exhaling the smoke: "If he isn't ready to stop yet, you won't be able to prevent it anyway. If anything, you'll delay the inevitable. If he's ready to stop, he will...believe me. The best thing you can do is leaving him alone for a few minutes to calm down, then comfort him and take care of his wounds if he has any." She looked at him in confusion: "Thomas...how do you know all this?" Now it was his time to shrug: "Don't think about it...I just do." And with that, he left her standing in the kitchen, confused about his words and wondering if she had missed anything.