My cold sweetheart (Killua fanfiction)

Is this real?

Previously...
It felt like all the ice inside of my heart melted. My curse was lifted. My first kiss was the one who broke the icy chains that surrounded my heart.
Thank you...
Killua.
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Neva's POV
Now I can say that I've fallen for the lone wanderer. His kiss woke up my soul. My deep sleeping cold soul.

Smiling we gazed a each other. There I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Killua..." I whispered.

"Neva you are the most beautiful being I've ever seen. If you say that I'm your warmth then you are incorrect. I'm not your warmth... You are my warmth." Then he kissed me lightly on the forehead.

We stayed there for a long time just thinking. Later Alluka entered the apartment smiling. I hugged a pillow and looked down trying to hide myself. Killua placed himself near me. He took my hand in his and nodded in assurance.

"Onii-chan who is she?" She asked pointing at me.

"This beautiful girl here is my friend. I found her and she was hurt so I couldn't leave her like that so I helped her." He said softly while squeezing my hand. My cheeks became red and I hid it with my hair.

"Her name is Neva." Killua said.

"Cute name! Onii-chan I wanna go to Lan's house. So can I stay with her?" She asked pouting.

"Yes now be careful and call me if anything happens." When I heard the door close I raised my head.

"Killua can you show me the bathroom?" I said putting the pillow aside.

"Follow me..." He said offering me his hand. I took it and smiled at the warmness of his hands.

"Thanks."

"I'll be waiting for you in the sofa." I closed the door and I sat on the floor.

'We are just friends, nothing more...' I kept repeating in my head. Slowly tears started falling down my chin.

"Only friends, nothing more..." I bit my lip trying to stop the sobbing noises.

I found a razor and I looked at it.

Am I worth of this life I have?

Killua's POV
Why was she taking so long? I am getting worried now.

Why did I earlier call her my friend. You don't just kiss your friend randomly.

I'm such a coward! I don't have the guts to tell her I love her... I don't need to know her past just to know that I fell in love with the first sight I caught of her face. It wasn't anything like love at first sight. It was more powerful like it was... Destined.

All I could see was that she was fighting a losing battle and needed my help. I don't care if she doesn't love me but I will till the day I see the last of her.

Neva's POV
I took the razor in my hands but I was trembling and it fell. As the razor came in touch with the ground I fell down on my knees.

What am I doing?! Hurting myself won't help anything. I need to stop trying to make myself suffer. There are other ways of assuring yourself you are alive.

Suddenly the door opened revealing a worried Killua. Then his facial features changed to sad ones.

"Why is this your first solution to your problems? Can't I be the solution to them instead of making yourself suffer?" Killua said sadly while walking back to the sofa.

I just sat there on the ground crying and regretting everything.

"I'm so sorry Killua... I love you." I said while wiping my eyes.

"I love you too, Neva. Please don't do that again. Stop scaring me..." He said looking at my eyes.

I looked at his eyes and I got lost inside a sea of emotions.

I slowly walked towards him and hugged him tightly.

"I won't but why doesn't this feel real anymore?" I muttered so he could barely hear it. Something doesn't feel right...

"Some don't understand pain is my only way of feeling alive but then... You came along." -Neva

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Author's Note:
Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait I kinda was all week at rehearsals. Sorry. But here's an update! Hope you enjoy and well yeah.

Love you all, Stay Beautiful
~Truffs