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twinem☀️🧡
mon, jul 18, 11:26 am

felix can i ask you something?

ofc hyun

when did you realize that you
liked changbin?

it was after i came back to the
show
well i didn't realize then but that
is when it started
he had came to my room and
cried because he had he thought
he'd never see me again
and from there on all the little
things started to make me like
him more and more and next
thing you know it's 2019 and
we're hanging out with some
of his friends and playing truth
or dare and they dared him to
kiss me and that was when i
truly realized

jesus felix

sorry
i can talk abt bin for days🥰

oh i know

*laughed at your message*
why'd you ask?

because i was trying to figure
out when i started liking ji
now that i think abt it idk how
you telling me abt you and bin
would help
it was worth a shot tho

honestly i feel like you guys
liked each other since before
debut as well

how? we couldn't stand each
other

exactly
as lino said enemies to lovers

i haven't even spoken to him in
three days
and we're not lovers anymore

that's not going to fix your
relationship

he said he didn't want to try
because i'm not comfortable
within myself and i might end
up liking seungmin all over
again

well
are you?

am i what?

comfortable with yourself?

i mean i guess
it's kinda hard when
heterosexuality is basically
forced on you in this industry
i do know that i like him a lot

and the seungmin part?

i don't think i liked seung that
much
wait but he might be right what
if i do fall for everyone i sleep
with
oh god i don't want to be like that

when did you realize you liked
han?

after seungmin absolutely
obliterated my heart
the week we were prepping
for the states he always cheered
me up
he would hold me while i cried
i didn't want to be around
anyone and he told me that i
needed someone the most at
the time and he was right
he tried to bake me some scones
with your recipe
yea the sex is great but i just love
being around him his presence
is so soothing
oh and he would sing to me it
was so cute😔

that's a lot to unpack😭
okay before i say anything
else abt you and han when
did you realize you liked
seung?

after we hooked up but i think
i just had a lot of pent up anger
and horniness that i ended up
confessing? i don't fucking know
but i do know it really hurt being
rejected right after he took my
virginity
after that everything seungmin
did just mad me so angry and
upset but ji was there every
time to calm me down

okay here's what i think:
i think you've like han since
before the whole "rap better"
"dance better" thing because
you'd always talk about how
much you admired him and
how much more you wanted
to learn from him

inch a resting 🤔

just go talk to him because i
know he's liked you for years

and you didn't tell me?
your a bad friend

no i'd be a bad friend if i told
you because he told me not
to say anything to anyone
and i didn't :)

yea yea

stop responding and go get your man

*laughed at twinem☀️🧡's message*
read 12:03 pm

———

ji💛
mon, jul 18, 12:06 pm

han

oh
i'm unblocked

i'm sorry i was being so dramatic
you were somewhat right i'm just
a little confused about my
sexuality because i'm attracted to
women but the thought of marrying
one makes me queasy
but one thing i know for sure is the
fact that i'd never like seungmin
in a romantic way ever again
because it's you that i like ji
i feel like no one has or ever will
care for me the way you do
yes i did fall for you in a short
amount of time but there's no rule
that says my feelings aren't
genuine just because i haven't
felt the same way you have for as
long as you have
does that last part make sense?

it does

is that all you have to say?

hyunjin you blocked and
ignored me for three days
i'm still a little upset

right
i'm sorry
we don't have to be in a
relationship but i don't want
things to be weird when we go
back home

it won't

okay
please talk to me when you're
feeling less upset
i miss you
read 12:15 pm

———

-ciarra
9/12/22
word count: 795.