13&18 and everything in between

Sometimes life sucks

Kneeling on the carpeted chair grasping the wall phone. "Was I ok?" Eliza asked and so did Jake. He left me messages that were gestures of unexpected kindness such a heavy heart wrapped in bandages and blue scrubs

hot tears falling down my chaffed face. kenzie was there she held my hand and squeezed

"I know it's hard." she said, tears in her eyes as well, her voice wavering.

"You are so strong, and I know it's hard but we can do it." In a time of so much sadness and pain her smile was my comfort. Now I go in the woods and breathe in the beauty. She is there all around me. The frogs and turtles in the pond, the grass and the trees. I wish I could have told her green is my favorite color too. I guess I don't have to though, because when I am in the forest all I see is the lush green wilderness smiling at me; and I know she's there.

I want to scream and fight for all the pain innocent people have to endure

The guttural harshness of her crys shake deep in my soul

I'm not afraid, I just hurt. I feel her pain and although I don't understand her struggles completely, I sympathize.

I send my love outwards in hope of her comfort.

I'm so jealous, SO jealous, of how she kicks and screams pounding on the door "Let me out!" She wants her coke as I want the knife; both feel so good yet the pain quickly follows.

Lines of white and red bleeding down arms and nose, should I cry? Should I scream?

I can't in here,-- can I? Is it worth the trouble of solitary? Sadari's manic laughter is white noise in the hallway.

I miss home but I'm afraid to leave,

we're all mad here and I like it.